The vertigo continues and I’m disgusted with health care in Las Cruces. First, I had to wait 3 months to see and ENT. Next, I have to wait a month and a half to get balance testing and two months to see a nurse practitioner in a cardiologist’s office. Maybe someday, I’ll actually see the cardiologist. I’ve decided that the next time I have to make an appointment and I’m told to wait 3+ months, I’ll ask the person who answered the phone to recommend another specialist because I’m tired of farting around with this.
I now have a handicap hangtag. It’s difficult to push a walker between parked cars, and I need the extra space available in the handicap spots. One nice thing, I can now park anywhere at NMSU and I don’t have to buy a parking pass. I don’t even have to put money in a meter if I park in a metered lot.
When I retired seven years ago, my serger died. Jim retired two weeks ago; my serger died. Now, I have a heavy duty Brother. It threads a bit differently than my old Brother serger, but it’s just a matter of learning new threading. There’s no Dreaded Bottom Looper. There’s a lever that comes out, put the thread in the guide, turn the hand wheel so the lever goes back inside, and then thread the bottom looper the same as threading the upper looper. This time, the instruction manual has good instructions for how to use the attachment that puts elastic on something. A few practice runs, and I had the settings all worked out.
For some reason, my sewing machine, Pfaff Quilt Expressions 4.2, refuses to sew on sport lycra. It sewed on other sport lycra, but it wouldn’t sew on this sport lycra. I unthreaded the machine, cleaned the machine, put in a new needle, still wouldn’t sew. I tried a stretch needle, a ballpoint needle and a universal needle. Still wouldn’t sew. I had been sewing a casing in my undies, then threading the elastic through the casing. PITA. With the elastic attachment for the serger, I can make a pair of undies in an hour. This is very good because I was running out of decent undies.
I made these using fabric I designed and had Spoonflower print on sport lycra. My Spoonflower shop is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman I just got back seven yards of proofs and I now need to put 294 new designs in my Spoonflower shop.
I use wooly nylon in both loopers when I’m sewing on stretch fabric such as lycra. Where other threads won’t stretch, wooly nylon will.
I want to experiment with other types of thread. I’d like to be able to get the same stretch but with a metallic thread.
It rained today. And yesterday. And the day before that. We’re still about 4″ below average rainfall. That’s a big deal when the annual precipitation is a bit more than 8″. I had a chance to photograph raindrops.
If you look carefully at the water drops, you can see an upside down image of the stem.
No, it’s not a photo of an experiment gone very wrong. It’s raindrops on an agave leaf showing the texture of the leaf.
70. It comes after 69 and before 71. Today, I’m 69. Tomorrow, I’ll be 70. My brain feels 35, but the rest of me is older. I was planning on having beef on weck for my birthday dinner. Weck is a bastardization of the German word kummelweck. It means caraway seed. Kummelweck rolls have coarse salt and caraway seeds on the top. Slice the beef very thin. Put fresh ground horseradish on the sandwich. The plan changed to linguini and raw sauce. Raw sauce is chopped tomato, basil, Kalamata olives and mozzarella. It’s a room temperature sauce. I had this in New York City several years back, and loved it. For a whole lot of reasons, both Jim and I need to switch to a low-fat vegetarian diet. So much for beef on weck. Pass the beans, please.
I’ve been doing a bit of photography today. We’ve been getting rain nearly every day for the last week, and the desert is filled with blooms.
White oleander. I experimented with a setting that’s supposed to give me true colors. And it did. White flowers are tricky because the camera is set for neutral gray.
Barrel cactus – probably 3 feet (1 meter) tall.
Cactus flower on a different barrel cactus. The fruits are edible.
Flower on a low growing cactus.
I’ve been working on sewing anther pair of shorts, and a pair of slacks that I can wear into the paint studio. Every time I walk in that room, I end up covered in paint. The slacks are being made from more of my proof fabrics.
I’ve been working one geometric fabric designs. Eventually, I’ll order proofs of my designs and then put the designs in my Spoonflower shop here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman
I seem to be having Post Pandemic Malaise. It started during the pandemic, and now refuses to leave. I have to force myself to sew, to design fabric, and to write.
I design fabric, and before I can sell my designs in my Spoonflower shop, I have to have each design proofed. https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman I can proof 42 designs in one yard of fabric. I must have at least 12 yards of fabric filed with proofs of my designs. Fabric doesn’t go to waste in my house. I badly need shorts, so I got out a pattern and muslin. I picked the size for my measurements, and made a muslin version so I could check fit. If I gained 60 pounds, that muslin would have been way too big on me. I tweaked the pattern and made a pair of shorts from fabric covered with proofs. It’s ugly, but it fits perfectly. At the moment, I’m working on a second pair made from white linen/rayon fabric.
I’ve been having vertigo, losing my balance, and falling lately. I saw my doctor a couple weeks ago, and she referred me to a specialist. I called the specialist and the first appointment was for late October – three months away! So from now until late October, I’ll be staggering, losing my balance and falling. Bleah! I haven’t been doing much photography because I can’t squat down to photograph flowers. Were I to squat down, I’d fall and likely land on a cactus.
Brady rarely lets me photograph her. For some reason, she kept still today and I got to take some shots of her.
This cactus is about 8 inches tall. Ideally, I would have squatted down and shot the cactus. Instead, I had to remain standing and rely on my telephoto lens to get me close enough to the cacti what I could get a half decent shot.
Ignore the squares on the photo above. This is the original shot. I cropped off the squares on the bottom so I could upload a design that had no blank space.
Getting all my designs into my Spoonflower shop took longer than I thought because I had to deal with Social Security. They insist on telephone interviews, but they fart around with their phone system so my phone won’t ring. My phone will have no record anyone called me. If I go to my voice mail, I might inadvertently find a voice mail from someone at the Social Security office. Finally, I managed to reach a human who wanted to call me back. So I went through all the reasons why that wouldn’t work and can’t we do this now? He agreed. I’ll start drawing on my Social Security account in October. I have been drawing spouse benefits under an program that doesn’t exist any more. While I have been drawing spouse benefits the last four years, my account kept growing. I’ll be getting about twice what I get now, and about $1000 more than what I would have gotten when I turned 66.
NMSU decided to switch where we get our prescription meds. As much as I hated Express Scripts, I hate CVS more. Not all of my prescriptions switched over. Jim had to talk to customer service to find out I need to set up my account within his account. I’ve no idea when or if the refills I ordered will arrive. I wanted to talk to customer service because any company that makes it so hard to do the simplest thing deserves to discover what a pissed off, bipolar attorney sounds like.
Only one thing to do when I have that much stress: grab the camera and find something to photograph.
Some of the cacti in my yard are blooming. I thought I wanted a shot of this cactus flower to make a whole quilt design. Then, I realized this was the absolute worst type of photo for quilting. Too busy and I can’t quilt around each of the petals.
I’ve been working on getting more designs into my Spoonflower shop. 82 down, 125 to go. It’s going slowly because there’s only so much time I can spend on loading designs into my shop before my eyes cross and my head hurts. My Spoonflower shop is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman
Some if my latest fabric designs…
I’d like to have a great shot of one of the cactus flowers in the yard. I’d like to have the shot printed on fabric and use the fabric for a quilted wall hanging.
If I crop out the extra stuff, then the photo is too small to print in the center of a yard of fabric. I’ll keep trying.
I’m trying to deal with Social Security. I turn 70 in August. That’s when my Social Security account stops growing. I’ve been collecting spouse benefits for the last four years. All the parts fell in place for me just before that program ended. You’d think it would be a simple matter to get an in-person appointment. Nope. Got to be a telephone appointment. That would work if the person who was supposed to call me actually called me. For the first telephone appointment, there was no record of any incoming call that entire day. Yesterday, I got calls, but rather than being from Las Cruces, NM, they were from Salt Lake City, Utah and Las Vegas, Nevada. I finally got someone to admit they hide the telephone numbers. They wouldn’t have to do that if they stopped jerking people around. After two hours, most of that time on hold, I was told I couldn’t have an in person appointment. The excuse is it would be illegal to let me into the office. Meanwhile, the Social Security Administration sent me a letter saying I could go into the local office. I was so upset after that horrendous two hours that I shook for four days. Brady knew something was very wrong and kept trying to help me. She left me a toy to play with so I’d feel better. She let me hug her. Usually when I try to hug her, she squirms. It took four hours before I was calm enough to find a novel, light a smelly candle, and soak in the tub. It was the worst manic event I’ve ever had.
I had another go round with social security this morning. After being hung up on three times, I actually got to talk to a human. Still no in person appointment. Still refusing to comply with the Americans With Disabilities Act, and someone will call me some time next week. Who do these people think they are? Even delivery people give you a day and a four-hour time window
I’ve filed a complaint with the Social Security Administration and the Department of Justice explaining how I’ve been discriminated against by the local office refusing to give me reasonable accommodations. I’m exploring the feasibility of filing a civil rights suit in Federal Court. The filing fee is $350. Plus the fee to file electronically. I think by grudgingly trying to help me, the local office is heading off a civil rights suit. If I win, which I would, I could receive back payments, damages, and I could recover attorney’s fees. I’m the attorney and I will be billing my time at $300.00 an hour. That’s a mid-range price among local attorneys.
My online shop, Deb Thuman Art is where I sell my jewelry creations and my yarn creations. You can find it here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com Look for a small link that says “shop.” It’s located at the top of the page and easy to miss. I’m going to be doing some major overhauling of my shop soon, so if there’s something you’ve been wanting, now is the time to buy it because it may not be available after the overhaul.
We celebrated our 50th anniversary on June 3. We started the celebration a day early. Translation: we ate at restaurants two days in a row. Fifty years went by fast. I had hoped to take a special trip, but that’s going to have to wait. Until Brady is fully trained, she can’t travel with me. Once she’s my service dog, she flies free, stays in hotels for free, cruises for free. At the moment, I don’t trust air travel. Sure we’re told there are upgraded filters and the air is recirculated. When were the filters last checked? When will there stop being brawls in mid flight? When will we be able to be assured the flight won’t be cancelled at the last minute? There aren’t enough flight staff so flights are cancelled. The airlines blame the traffic controllers. I blame mismanagement and misuse of funds.
Jim bought me roses for our anniversary. I’ve been photographing individual roses each morning.
I’ve been working on a dress. This dress has only two seams because I had to eliminate the center seams in order for the pattern to fit on the fabric. Then, I discovered the V neck revealed far more cleavage than I’m comfortable showing. The pattern has a modesty panel, and I added that. I had to sew the panel by hand and I didn’t want stitches to show on the right side of the dress. I pushed a clear plastic template under the seam for the facing. That ensured my stitches would not show on the font of the dress.
The dress still looked wrong so I added ties to each side. I should have moved the ties closer to the center front. Too late now; I’m not about to rip out and reattach ties. I’ll make changes to the next dress I make.
Although we’re in no danger from the wildfire in the Gila Wilderness, we’re treated to the particulates and smoke from the fire. That’s not a cloudy sky. That’s a smoky sky. The crud in the air isn’t allergy friendly so I can’t spend much time outside.
There are no clouds today and that’s not a cloudy sky. That’s smoke, particulates, and crud from the wildfire.
4. Discover the printer was set wrong and all 37 pages have to be reprinted.
5. Print out pattern.
6. Tape 37 pages together matching notches.
7. Mark correct cutting lines on the multi-size pattern.
8. Trace pattern onto pattern paper.
9. Make a muslin.
10. Discover the size that matches my measurements is waaaay to big.
11. Adjust pattern pieces.
12. Discover that the special order fabric has disappeared.
13. Find suitable fabric in stash.
14. Iron fabric.
15. Discover that 42″ fabric isn’t wide enough for the pattern.
16. Find the sewing directions.
17. Find the instructions for the seam allowance.
18. Remove center seams on the front and back.
19.Discover I hate the dress.
20. Discover one pattern piece is cut 4 and I cut 2.
21. Discover there’s not enough fabric to cut 2 additional pieces.
22. Design begins when there’s not enough fabric.
I’ve got the dress and interfacing cut out. I’m working on this dress in small increments because I’m afraid I’ll make irreparable mistakes if I try to make the dress in one day.
The wildfire in the Gila – due west of us – is causing haze, stinky air, triggering allergies, and hiding the mountains.
The wildfire in northern New Mexico has consumed more than 300,000 acres. It was started by a controlled burn that got out of control. The Forest Service didn’t follow their own protocol, set a fire on a windy day, and now we have a disaster. The governor wants the feds to pay for firefighting, cleanup, reforestation, repair and rebuild structures that were burnt.
I’ve been battling severe depression for several weeks. My doctor tweaked my psych meds, and I’m much better. The depression is gone. I have energy and a desire to do things.
I wanted to set up the tripod, use my 150-600mm lens and shoot the eclipse. I had a neuropathy flare up and had to use my TENS unit. I had leads going from my feet to the waistband of my pants. Using a tripod under those circumstances is both stupid and dangerous. I used my 18-400mm lens, leaned against a post, and shot the moon.
I’ve been working on fabric designs. An app on my iPad allows me to sort of draw. I’ve made some designs based on traditional quilt blocks.
That one was where I learned to remove the lines that guide where I put the colors.
This one I did without the annoying lines.
Other designs can best be described as finger painting.
Some of the paint options I’ve got are metallic. I’ve no idea how those colors will work on cloth; I have to get a number of designs together so I can have them proofed. After that, they will go into my Spoonflower shop.
I tried to make something that looks like the abstract painting I’ve been doing. So far, I haven’t gotten an abstract painting design that I like. One of the best things about these designs is they upload to Spoonflower a whole lot faster than my photographs.
Each year, NMSU has a juried student art show. I’ve submitted work in the past without acceptance. Quilting isn’t taught at NMSU; therefore, quilting isn’t an art. I wonder what the jurors would say about Faith Ringgold’s art. My painting teacher has made it a class assignment to enter up to three pieces of art to the juried show. He has encouraged me to enter my quilts. I chose one quilt: Depression. It’s a depiction of how I felt in February 2021.
The other two entries are photographs I took when it snowed a couple weeks ago.
Because there’s a cash prize for best in show, entrants must register for Scholar Dollars. I answered questions about did I grow up in a single-parent home. Yes, for four years before my mother married The Drunk. Do I have a disability? Yes. Bipolar disorder doesn’t feel like a disability but I’ve no idea what normal feels like. Any veterans in the family? My father, The Drunk and Jim are veterans. Overcome educational barriers? Yes. My mother and The Drunk were convinced college made a person stupid and I wasn’t allowed to apply to colleges. I started college shortly after my 25th birthday and earned two degrees: journalism and biology – although I was not allowed to take math or science classes in high school.
I’m not sure when the decision will be made and I doubt my work will be accepted. I don’t make normal art. Neither does Faith Ringgold.
I need to come up with 10 additional photos for a sense of place for my photography class by Sunday. I’ve decided most of the shots I want although I’ve my doubts about how some of the shots will be received. Here’s what I’ve shot so far.
I’m taking a photography class at the local university. The class is being taught by a grad student. I’m the only one in the class who has worked with film. My first single lens reflex camera was a Valentine’s Day present in 1980. Canon – AT1, the last fully manual camera Canon made. I loved that camera, I still have it, and it’s older than everyone in my class. My current camera, a DSLR Canon 90D, was a Valentine’s Day gift in 2020.
We’re assigned to take a series of photos showing a sense of place, but not the usual chamber of commerce type shots.
These are studies for two photos.
Shabbat Shalom
Shabbat shalom means sabbath peace. I made the quilt after a terrorist armed with an assault rifle walked into the Tree of Life synagog in Pittsburgh and killed 11 people. When congregants were allowed back into the sanctuary, they saw blood spatter and brain matter on the walls. The blue in the middle is Chai, the Hebrew word meaning Life. On shabbat, two candles are lit to celebrate the beginning of shabbat. The candleholders – which can be elaborate or simple – are a ceramic pair I made specifically for shabbat candles. The final shot will be taken after dark and with the candles lit. I wanted to get as much of the shot as possible set up in advance.
Yahrzeit
Three years ago, someone I knew killed himself. Tonight begins his yahrzeit – the anniversary of his death. The quilt is one I made in an attempt to make sense of his suicide. I’ll be taking the formal shot after sundown and lighting the yahrzeit candle.
I’m still decluttering and organizing the sewing room. It seems as if I get one spot clean, and the mess moves to another spot.
I’m finding odds and ends of fabric and I’ve an idea how to use those. The city of Las Cruces has a new ordinance – no single use plastic bags. If a vendor puts your purchases into a paper bag, the vendor must charge 10 cents per bag. Then the vendor must give 5 cents from each bag to the city. Eventually, I’ll go back to setting up at the Farmers Market. I don’t want to keep a second set of books to record how many paper bags and then fill out extra forms to give the city a nickel per bag. The solution: fabric bags. Bags will be assorted sizes. Either buy my art and don’t expect a fabric bag free of charge, buy a bag along with my art, buy just a bag, or bring a bag with you. I’m considering making some larger bags and sewing zippered pockets onto the bag. It’s nice not to have to fish for your car keys after shopping. Just find the zippered pocket. Some bags will be muslin. Some bags will be upholstery fabric. Some bags will have some sort of applique made from small odds and ends of fabric. More than 10 years ago, a friend bought one of my fancier upholstery bags to give to her granddaughter. That bag went through high school, college, and is now going through grad school.
I have been doing a bit of photography. Last night, there was a smiling moon and I’ve been wanting to shoot a smiling moon. Ideally, I would have used my 150-600mm zoom lens and a tripod. Instead, I had a neuropathy flare up. CBD massage oil, CBD oil put into a capsule, gabapentin and marijuana. I wasn’t as steady on my feet as I would have liked and I don’t want to destroy my photography gear. Instead, I used my 18-400mm zoom lens and skipped the tripod. I’m not in love with this shot, but I’m not disappointed, either.
Art is a reliable way to kill neuropathy pain, so I’ve been doing some shooting when I’m in pain. That gave me golden hour shots and some sunset shots.
This one was taken about 45 minutes before sundown. These are the Dona Ana Mountains about six miles behind my house. One of these days, I need to go hiking in these mountains. They are actually part of the caldera of a very long-dead volcano.
I’ve been playing with my photos again and will eventually turn these photos into fabric designs.
Sewing room decluttering, organizing, and deep cleaning continues. I found three incredibly dusty thread organizers I had forgotten I had. This is good because I have more thread than the new thread organizers I bought can hold. I’m putting together a box of goodies to be donated to a thrift store. I’ve kept the wooden thread spools because of memories. My grandfather would hammer four nails into the top of an empty wooden thread spool and I’m make yarn ropes. This was a way to keep me occupied, and I thought they were wonderful toys. I’ve no idea what I’m going to do with the spools, but I can’t bring myself to throw them out. Some memories need to be kept.
We’ve had some wild weather the last few days and I photographed the storm blowing in and the resulting rain and mountain eating fog.
Brady is now 35 pounds. Jim took her to the shop and let her zoom. Here, she’s taking a brief rest. She’s got boundless energy. She plays hard, then she sleeps hard to prepare for the next zoom.
PTSD sometimes takes a while to appear. I’m now having flashbacks from the hell I went through at the public defender office from February 2007 to November 12, 2015 when I retired. I’ll have to work on this with my psychologist. I believe flashbacks are my brain’s way of indicating that I can now process the emotions I had during the trauma. I get tired of the flashbacks. I lived through the crap once and I’ve no desire to live through it a second time.
It’s time to deep clean the sewing room. I thought I would be able to donate a fair amount of leftover memories, but the donation box is nearly empty. Some memories I am not ready to part with.
As I went through boxes, I found things I don’t remember buying – or maybe these things came from my grandmother’s house. She had a massive stroke, and we had to clean out the house before it could be sold. I took all the sewing things.
I found a small cutting mat that was hidden away. I bought the mat to take with me to a seminar. I could cut leftover fabric for a quilt in my hotel room while waiting to become tired enough to sleep.
I found fabric from more than 40 years ago. Plaid from a skirt I made when I was in college. I bought a lot of polyester back then, including the plaid from the skirt. I’ve no idea if I still have the skirt. If I do, it won’t fit. I’ve no idea what I’m going to do with the leftover plaid.
Yards and yards and yards of white with sprigs of pink flowers from an attempt to make drapes for a sliding glass door. I’m sure I can make something from this fabric, but I can’t imagine what. Maybe boxers for Jim.
Fabric from one of the shirts I made for Jim from nearly 20 years ago. I can do something with these scraps. Eventually.
I found brushed rayon that is left over from a pants suit. Yellow linen look fabric from a dress I made 33 years ago. I’m pretty sure the fabric is polyester, but it’s pretty so I’m keeping it. A bit of raw silk that will make nice lingerie. I want to make bras for myself, so all those little scraps I couldn’t toss out will become bras. Maybe.
Wooden spools with thread which came from my grandmother’s house. When I was little, my grandfather would put four nails into the top of the spool and I’d make long ropes out of yarn. No idea what, if anything, I ever did with the ropes. But I’ll keep the wood spools. The thread, likely more than 50 years old, isn’t useful anymore. Thread has a shelf life. I’ll do something with the spools. Assuming I can find a use for the miles of rope I’ll make.
Buttons and buttons and buttons. I took my grandmother’s button box when we cleaned out her house. A good friend sent me at least 10 pounds of buttons. He said the buttons will give me closure. It’s been years since I bought buttons.
There’s some heavy canvas that would be good for making a purse. Except it’s ecru and boring. Maybe I could add some of the scraps from ancient projects to jazz up the unimaginative fabric.
There’s some metallic copper stretch fabric that is good for….I’ve no idea. The metallic washes off leaving a dull sort of copper in place of the metallic copper. Originally, I made a sports bra and exercise short from the fabric. I used a some of the left over fabric to make my uterus quilt. Doesn’t everyone have a metallic copper uterus and fallopian tubes?
I opened a closet that hasn’t been opened for more than 15 years. I found interesting upholstery fabric that will make a nice purse. Or something. I’ll think of a use for it.
I’ve been collecting vintage knitting and crocheting books for more than 40 years. Now, the pattern books I bought that were cutting edge fashion in 1970 are now vintage. I’ll keep those.
Wheat colored crochet thread thin enough to make nice doilies. Not that I use doilies. Or I could use it for tatting thread. Assuming I can find the tatting shuttle.
I found books from a women’s literature class I took in college 44 years ago. I can’t part with those books even though I ran out of bookcase room years ago. Now, I fill up my iPad with e-books. Space saving, but not something I could read from wile soaking in the tub.
Now that I’ve unpacked the memories, I need to find some sort of plastic tote in which to put them. Then I need to find a place to put the plastic totes. I thought I could put boxes of memories in the closet in my sewing room. But the closet has a weird wall that makes an odd angle on one end of the closet. Not a good place to store boxes of memories.
Eventually, the memories will go into boxes or storage containers. Then I will forget about them until the next time I need to deep clean my sewing room.
I’ve been making progress on the spirit dancing quilt. I gave up on using iridescent fabrics because they just didn’t work against a dark background. Instead, I’ve re-designed the quilt and now it’s about dancing in the place where I buried the ghosts. This is one of the trails at Rushford Lake. We had a cottage there. I used to walk these trails every weekend because I needed to get away from my toxic family. One summer, my mother decided to take my siblings out to the lake for the week and left me home to babysit the drunk. I’d spend the day going through cookbooks to find something interesting to make for dinner. Eventually, the drunk would stagger in and announce he had already eaten dinner. I asked my mother if I could go out to the lake with her and my siblings. No. That’s how much she hated me. Later, I discovered that although my siblings and spouses could go to the lake and stay at the cottage, I couldn’t. In 2018, we traveled to Rushford Lake and I buried the ghosts that had haunted me for 50 years.
I’m not sure if I like what I’ve done so I’m letting the quilt sit for a few days. Frequently, something I thought looked terrible, looked much better the next day.
Brady looks so innocent when she’s asleep. Usually, I don’t like a photo to be this grainy, but I like how this shot came out. I used my cell phone for this shot.
Deb's Art 