Fear of Fear

I’m afraid. I’m tired of being afraid. Fear sucks.

There’s a new Starbucks in my town. Jim and I decided to visit it. We won’t be back. My drink was fine. Jim’s drink was fine. A man behind the counter was wearing a keffiyeh. That isn’t fine. What if he discovers I’m Jewish? I did an internet search, and a keffiyeh has no religious significance. It is not a requirement of any religion as, for instance, a hijab is. Right now, the only significance is to terrorize Jews.

We attended an outdoor Hanukkah celebration. I didn’t see any security. What if someone starts shooting us because we’re Jewish?

Classes start at New Mexico State University on Wednesday. There’s a Students for Justice in Palestine chapter on campus. Don’t let the name fool you. They have organized attacks on Jewish students on campuses across the country. They advocate killing Jews. They advocate obliterating Israel. No, I don’t know what incredibly stupid person in academic administration decided to allow the chapter on campus and give them a meeting room. This isn’t a free speech issue. This is a keep terrorists off campus issue. Yes, I have let the FBI know about them.

I’m afraid. I refuse to hide, which may be a mistake – the kind of mistake that could cost me my life. For years, I’d spoken out against assault rifles saying it should be illegal to own one. Now, I seriously consider buying a Tav-7. I seriously consider buying Level IV military grade body armor designed to be worn by women.

I hate living like this.