I seem to be having a mixed episode where I get to be simultaneously manic and depressed. So far today, I walked into a shit storm and got viciously attacked. Next, I made the mistake of believing someone who said they wanted to understand. Hah! Found out the hard way the person wasn’t serious. I have a good reason for being depressed. I can’t solve the problem my myself and I’m the only one who wants to solve the problem. Alternative options aren’t ones I’m willing to pursue – mostly because the options are irreversible and likely worse than the original problem. Although I try hard to handle customer service issues via email, that’s not always possible. I had no choice but to make a phone call. Naturally the customer service number on the website wasn’t the correct number. I did get the issue resolved, but there’s no reason for it to be this difficult to rectify a simple matter.
So. What do I do? I don’t feel like making art. I don’t feel like reading. I don’t feel like doing anything. I had to force myself to take my psych meds. I wish my dog were fully trained to be my service dog. I know she could help me if only she had learned what smells needed her attention. We’ve just started the service dog training. At present, she’s learning how to navigate Hobby Lobby and JoAnn’s.
I feel like eating everything that isn’t nailed down, but that would only make me feel worse. And it’s Passover so treats are difficult and I don’t feel like driving to the store to buy chocolate chips so I could make matzoh crack.
And so I sit here feeling depressed, miserable and not finding a viable solution. Today, being bipolar sucks.
Deb's Art 