Posted in bipolar disorder, Depression

How Do You Politely Tell Someone To Fuck Off?

Posted on by debthumanblog

I received a newsletter this morning and I haven’t figured out how to respond. Part of the newsletter was about coping during a pandemic. When the organization first sent out email wanting to know about how people are coping with covid, I responded by email saying it’s important to understand that as difficult as a pandemic is for most people, it’s far worse for those of us who have a mental illness.

I was ignored.

Here’s what I feel like saying: Listen dumb ass, if you think you’re coping with isolation, grief and feeling alone, how do you think I feel sitting here knowing you think less of me and that I’m only worthy of being ignored because I’m bipolar? I’m alone, isolated, depressed, and stuck with your prejudices. I didn’t choose to be bipolar. You chose to be cruel. How dare you pretend to care about people when the only people you care about are people who don’t cause you to confront your own bigotry.

Here’s what I said: ????? I haven’t yet figured out how to respond.

I don’t live in the closet because I refuse to be ashamed of an illness I didn’t choose and can’t escape. I can, and do, medicate my illness. I can, and do, tell others that medication doesn’t cure bipolar disorder, it only dulls bipolar disorder. I can learn to more or less cope with being mentally ill. I cannot, and will not, accept the bigotry, stupidity and ignorance of others. Law school taught me to say in four paragraphs what anyone else would say in two words. As much as I would love to tell the person who wrote the article in the newsletter to fuck off, I will refrain. It wouldn’t do any good.

Bipolar disorder makes everything larger than life. My emotional responses are larger than life. I’ve been told I give people the feeling they need to back up about three feet just so they can breathe. I’ve been told I scare the hell out of people. Do you think I like being told those things? Do you think I don’t notice or feel pain because you view me as different? Ostracizing me hurts. Both of us. It wounds me, but it hurts you because you’re missing out on knowing some amazing people just because you’re a bigot. That’s right. You’re a bigot. Or did you think bigotry only involved racism?

I am hurt. I am pissed. I am alone. I am unable to think of a solution.

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Author:

I retired from the Public Defender Dept. November 12, 2015 after 16 health destroying years. Now, I'm a full time multi-media artist and writer on a new adventure. As an artist, I create with beads, fabric, fiber, and ceramic clay. Sometimes separately; sometimes in assorted combinations. You can find my on-line store at: www.debthumanart.com.

3 thoughts on “How Do You Politely Tell Someone To Fuck Off?”

  1. I wish we could just straight up tell people to “Fuck Off” and not have to deal with the consequences. 😅 It’s so very much taxing when the burden of destigmatization falls on the very people who are going through it themselves! 😖

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  2. I don’t think you have to be polite. I think you can call someone out on their bigotry and stigmatizing behavior just like it is. Why do you have to be “nice” about it?

    I mean, yeah, you don’t have to say “fuck off,” but only because the person won’t hear anything else. Of course, if that IS what you want to say, you should say that.

    Screw being “nice.” I’m tired of being the nice one in a room just because I have a mental illness and I might get labeled as “that crazy girl.” Whatever. Label me.

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