I am having a neuropathy flare up. Bleah. The pain goes away when I make art. The pain comes back as soon as I stop making art.
I’ve been making face masks using up leftover fabric. I make many yards of binding at a time. Each mask takes two ties 34” long. Making binding isn’t my most favorite thing to do, so making miles of binding at one time means I only have to burn my fingers once every couple days.
I’ve been designing fabric which can’t be sold in my Spoonflower shop, https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman until I have proofs of the designs. What to do with 90 proofs? Make reversible face masks. One down and 14 more to go. As I finish them and photograph them, I’ll be putting them in my store, Deb Thuman Art. This one is in my store now.
Reversible Face Mask
I’m still photographing spring in the desert.
YuccaSeed Pods. Prickly Pear
I’ve been working on the suicide quilt. I’ve gotten the appliqués sewn on. Now, I have to figure out how I want to quilt it. This piece is larger than my usual quilts. Most of the time, I am making art quilts the size of a fat quarter.
I started working on the suicide quilt. Art is a way for me to get the feelings I don’t understand out from inside me. Sometimes, the feelings start to make sense while I’m working on the piece. It has been more than a year since someone I knew committed suicide; I still haven’t worked through all the feelings.
I inadvertently hung this upside down so I flipped the photo. My hand reaching for answers. The hand I can never grasp.
I’ve been documenting spring in the desert as it appears in my yard. Cheap gas, and no place to go.
Cholla. The spines are vicious. Using pliers is the only way to remove a thorn if you get one stuck in you. This is a strange prickly pear. The flowers are peach in the morning and evening, and yellow during the rest of the day. A normal, full-time yellow prickly pear.
Now for a few words about a day I dread each year. I detest mother’s day. I grew up in a house run by a pair of violent drunks who thought they were adults. The most appropriate gift I gave my mother was a Venus flytrap. The most appropriate gift I gave myself was to eliminate that woman from my life. I refuse to lie to myself and celebrate having her for a mother.
I chose not to have children and I’ve never regretted that choice. It’s not easy to swim upstream. I spent 20 years listening to people demand I have children. I could never bring myself to tell these people something pithy like: I can’t have children. If I did, ignorant people like you wouldn’t be able to make disgusting comments like the one you just made. I did tell one ignorant person that there’s more to life than changing diapers and wiping snotty noses. I did finally tell someone that I have worth and value but I could win the Pulitzer Prize and she still wouldn’t think I was successful merely because I didn’t produce a child. Turning 40 was wonderful because they finally shut up. Mother’s Day accompanied by flowers and syrupy poetry is horrible if you don’t have children whether it is by choice or by uncooperative biology. It’s even worse if you had a horrible mother. Combine the two, and the day is nearly unbearable.
What to do to survive Mother’s Day? I can celebrate having the courage to make an unpopular choice.
I am not handling quarantine well. The anxiety is constant and is now starting to feel normal. The insomnia is killing me. I turned in a paper for a class today. In a page and a half, I blatantly told my teacher she was full of shit. It took a page and a half because I wasn’t quite that blunt. I sent another teacher a terse email about a major error intended as propaganda for the coal mine owners that I found in the textbook and backed up what I said with case law. I’m not eating a healthy diet. I’d get on my elliptical machine, but I don’t have the energy because I’m not sleeping. I’m eating too much because I have no energy and my brain keeps thinking if I eat, I’ll be able to stay awake. Other than that, everything is dandy.
I’ve been doing photography and working on composition. Some experiments are better than others.
I may decide to crop this a bit, but I like how the light comes through the flower.Cohen in a rare moment when she chose to pose. Tinker guarding the TP – not a great composition.
I’ve been designing fabric, and I sent for the third set of proofs from Spoonflower. When I get the proofs, I’ll be putting new designs into my Spoonflower store, https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman
I listened to the suggestions and comments made when I asked about fabric combinations for a quilt about suicide. I took one comment and ran with it. Here’s the semi-final, maybe final combination. The splotch print represents the emotional mess left after someone commits suicide. The other print represents how rational, logical and normal it felt when I was deciding how, when and where to kill myself. Except it’s not logical, rational or normal. I’ve got to let that combination sit for a bit to see if I still like it. Then, it’s time to trace the pattern, cut fabric, and figure out how I want to apply the appliques.
My brain is having a difficult time picking out fabric. I auditioned a number of color combinations. A few I rejected. A few have possibilities. Most, I have no idea. And so I turn to my quilting friends around the globe for advice.
This quilt will be about suicide because I still haven’t worked out all my feelings. I’ll just have to keep arting until everything inside of me is resolved. The quilt I saw in my head has a solid background, one amorphous fabric and one graphic fabric. I’ve pretty much settled on the amorphous fabric, but I’m having a hard time figuring out the graphic fabric. Would you please look at the photos of fabric combinations and tell me which you like best. Many thanks. PS….I had come color problems with the amorphous fabric. The fabric on the left, I want to keep. That fabric looks a bit different in some of the photos. The one that comes closest to the fabric in real life is Fabric 12.
I have the parts all drawn out. I know what I want this quilt to look like. Now, I’m auditioning fabric. I’m not sure about the fall print. All the other fabrics I auditioned today don’t look right. I wanted one fabric to be muted and the other vibrant but the original muted fabric I thought I would use looked terrible against the teal background.. Maybe if I borrowed from the movies and had sex with my fabric I could find the right fabric.
This is for a quilt about suicide. A year ago, someone I knew committed suicide. Since then, I’ve written my feelings, I’ve quilted my feelings, I’ve lectured about suicide, and I’m still trying to find reasons why. What was happening in this person’s life that was so horrible that death was preferable? I want the universe to make sense. I know from all the biology classes I’ve taken and all the times I’ve stared into a microscope that there’s a phenomenal amount of order in the universe. I can’t find the order in suicide. I know it’s there; I just can’t find it. Maybe suicide is the entropy all things are rushing towards.
Every personality test I’ve ever taken has shown I’m equally introverted and extroverted. That goes along with bipolar disorder. When I’m manic, everything is magnified. I can talk to anyone about anything. I have no social anxiety. When I’m depressed, I isolate. Isolation seems to be my default. Maybe that’s because for a huge chunk of my life, I was depressed. The introverted part of me is having no problem with staying home, not dealing with people, and only venturing out occasionally to go to Starbucks. The artist part of me went to Baylor Canyon to photograph the Mexican poppies. These flowers only bloom if there’s sufficient precipitation in late winter. It’s a spectacular show of brilliant color and the show doesn’t last long.
Covid-19 has made me exceptionally anxious and that much anxiety causes physical pain. Yes, I’ve had the pains checked out. Every doctor, with the exception of my dentist who suggested I may be clenching my jaw, has found nothing physically wrong. I’ve decided to increase the dose of my mood stabilizer. My doctor knows I do this. The extreme anxiety is gone. I’m not in pain. Instead, I have Zombie Brain. This will be helpful in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse.
The increased dose of my mood stabilizer doesn’t seem to be helping with depression. I find I’m being hit with rolling depression. I’m not suicidal, but I am depressed enough that I want to curl up into a ball and cry. When this happens, I need to immediately start making art. Then, the depression goes away.
I have an online store that I built with the help of Wix. Something is wrong with the site because I can’t upload photographs. Without photographs, I can’t upload jewelry that I want to put into my store. It took quite a bit of internet searching to find a way to contact Wix. I got an email back saying they couldn’t help me because they weren’t employees of Wix but here’s the secret phone number. I have to wait until Monday to call.
I learned how to do focus merge in Affinity. I take several shots of a necklace and focus on a different spot for each shot. After downloading the photos, I merge all of the shots into one shot where everything is in focus.
My anxiety is close to out of control. I’ve had anxiety pain for a week. Yes, I’ve had the pain checked out – three times over the years. Three doctors said there’s nothing physically wrong with me. Klonopin isn’t calming the anxiety. I’m scared. I’m tired of being at home. The university admits some of those who tested positive for covid-19 in the county where I live are students. HIPPA mandates the person’s name and sex can’t be given out. But what classes these people were in can, and absolutely should be given out. People shed this virus for up to 14 days before they become symptomatic. They infect others who infect others who infect others and so on until we’re all sick. My age and a health condition put me at high risk. I need to know if I’ve been exposed.
Yes, I washed my hands – soap and water – when I used the restroom at school. Here’s how this works. Hold onto handrail to get downstairs to the restroom. Open restroom door. Open stall door. Close stall door. Do what I came to do. Touch handle to flush toilet. Open stall door. Touch tap to turn on water. Touch soap dispenser. Touch tap again to turn off water. Touch paper towel dispenser to get paper towel to dry my hands. Touch the restroom door to get out of restroom. Hold handrail to get upstairs so I can leave the building.
I made Jim and I masks although I don’t think they will protect us from a virus. They might protect us from something else. Spring in southern New Mexico features intense wind. Pollen, spores, dust, small children left unattended, and desert detritus blow around and eventually enter our noses. We both have allergies that get irritated in the spring and I hope these masks can help.
Bipolar disorder magnifies everything. I’m scared and I have severe anxiety. Klonopin doesn’t help. The insomnia is back. I listen to relaxation music. I meditate. I do yoga. What seems to help the most is art. I’ve been working on fabric design. You can see my latest fabric designs here https://www.spoonflower.com/collections/379032-playing-around-3-27-20-by-deb_thuman My Spoonflower store is here https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman I’ve ordered proofs of another 30 designs. The proofs should arrive in a few days. I’ll put the best of the lot into the store.
I’m learning how to do focus merging. My macro lens is a great lens, but it’s tough to get a large depth of field. Consequently, my jewelry photos have a couple beads in focus and the rest is blurry. I got out the tripod, attached the Canon 90D, laid out jewelry, and took several photos of each piece of jewelry. Focus on the first bead, take the shot. Focus on the next bead, take the shot. Repeat until all of the piece has been shot in focus. I use Affinity for editing and it has a nice focus merging function. I’ll need to take a few more shots of each and I’ll be ready to list them in my store http://www.DebThumanArt.com
I’ve also been working on making boring shots more interesting by using creative editing.
While we’re waiting for this damned virus to die, I’ve been going out into the yard and photographing spring unfolding in the desert then playing with editing photos of patterns.
I broke down and bought the rest of PhotoScape X. It’s an editing program for both Mac and Windows. There’s a whole lot in the free part of the program and that’s what I’ve been using for a few years. Today, I spent the $40 USD to unlock the entire program. Below is the progression from start to finish.
The original photo. I look for patterns that I can play with. This is a huge agave that grows in my back yard.
Some of the overlays in the program. I look for wild colors and getting as many colors as possible into the photo.
The kaleidoscope function gives me some wild shapes.
I reverted to the photo just before the kaleidoscope, and used twirl. I repeated twirl a few times to move the colors around.
This is what happened when I used Tiny Planet and mirror after a few twirls.
My age puts me at high risk for death by coronavirus. I haven’t gone anywhere since March 14. The university shut down at close of classes on March 13. That gives us an extra week of spring break. Not that we can go anywhere for spring break. I had planned to go to Truth or Consequences for a day and do some shooting. Fear has kept me home. When the university “reopens” on March 30, all classes will be online. Students who left the dorms for spring break will not be allowed back on campus. Commuter students aren’t allowed back, either. Jim has to go in to work every day. We don’t know why. There won’t be another play this semester. There are no sets to build. He’s been cleaning and organizing the scene shop.
At the moment, the New Mexico Department of Health is telling us that there are 65 cases of coronavirus in the state. That number is dangerously misleading. For two weeks, testing was only done in the northern part of the state. Dona Ana County where I live has more than 100,000 residents. Las Cruces, the state’s third largest city, is about 40 miles north of the US/Mexican border. Apparently we don’t count. Testing wasn’t done until March 20, and the testing site ran out of kits in less than two hours. The Department of Health sent another, more generous supply of kits for Saturday. 350 kits. We’re told we can’t be tested unless we’re symptomatic and that results won’t be ready for 7-10 days. Why bother with testing? By the time the results arrive, the person is either dead or better. How many people around me are carriers? Isolate the carriers and stop this virus.
I’ve made Jim and I masks. I’d photograph them, but Jim has them. This is good. Provided he’s actually wearing one. Spring in New Mexico comes with WIND. Lots and lots and lots of WIND. Pollen, spores, dust, desert crap blow around and enter our noses. Both of us are having allergy attacks. I’m thinking that perhaps the mask will keep out pollen, dust and desert crap while I’m outside.
My excursions now are walking around my yard photographing the progress of the claret cup cactus blooms.
Oddly, each clump of claret cup cactus seems to have its own blooming schedule although all the clumps are in full sun.
I’m still working on playing with photos and using them for fabric designs.
I’ve been making jewelry as an antidote to peripheral neuropathy pain.
I still need to learn how to use focus stacking in my Canon 90D. One of the reasons I wanted this camera is to do focus staking in the camera rather than trying to figure out how to do it in editing. The problem is I’m having a neuropathy flare up and I’m not sleeping at night. Last night, I woke up in pain at 2:00. By the time the pain subsided enough that I could go back to bed and get some sleep, it was 4:30. I woke up promptly at noon. Mornings are generally wind free. Afternoons we have WIND. I’d prefer to do photography outside when there’s little or no WIND.
Once I learn how to do focus stacking, I can list the jewelry I’ve been making in my store, Deb Thuman Art http://www.DebThumanArt.com
I’ve been taking photographs, manipulating them, and turning them into fabric designs.
This is the original photo of a leaf on an agave in my back yard. The leaf is dying which is why it has an assortment of colors. It’s not a particularly interesting photo.
I use PhotoscapeX, a free photo editing app for Mac. There’s a kaleidoscope function. After playing around a bit, I found a kaleidoscope pattern I liked.
I went back to the original photo and started playing with light effects.
Next, I used overlays to emphasize colors.
Back to the kaleidoscope and played around until I found a pattern I liked.
It’s International Woman’s Day. We’ve come a long way since Catherine Greene had to have Eli Whitney put his name on the patent for the cotton gin she invented. A long way since Watson & Crick ripped off Linus Pauling’s research, and took credit and the Nobel prize for Rosalynd Franklin’s work with x-ray crystallography which showed DNA is a double helix. A long way since I was told, time after time after time, “We hired a woman once. She didn’t work out so we don’t hire women anymore.” A long way since I had to terrorize the banker who demanded I use Jim’s last name to apply for a credit card. I told him my next stop was the NY State Department of Human Rights to file a formal complaint. He decided to let me have a credit card in my name. A long way since I had to file a formal complaint against an employer because I was paid less than the man who had the same job. Mine was the first law school class at SUNY Buffalo that was 50% women. It only took 101 years to reach that mark. Someday, we’ll have equality.
I made two more pairs of yoga pants. I can buy 10 yard of cotton lycra from Dharma Trading for $10 more than a pair of ready-to-wear yoga pants. I can make 5 pair of yoga pants from 10 yard of fabric. I dyed one pair yellow and the other an intense purple. I failed to mix the purple dye sufficiently and my pants have red spots. It’s a design element. Design: what happens when the dye batch turns out different from what’s expected.
Here in southern New Mexico, it normally rains during July-September. The rest of the year is sunny and dry. We’ve been having rain lately. Today, it’s cold, damp, raining, and we have fog. Perfect photography weather. I had read all the geology homework my brain could hold. Perfect time for photography.
There’s a mountain behind those raindrops. Look carefully and you’ll see a foggy outline.
I played a bit with composition in this shot. I haven’t decided if I like it.
A more successful shot from earlier in the week.
I’m having another peripheral neuropathy flare-up. I spent nearly three hours last night making necklaces before the pain went away. When we have a sunny day again, I’ll learn how to do focus stacking so I can get all of the necklace in focus. With the Canon 90D, I can do focus stacking in the camera.
I’m having fun playing around with my photos and coming up with fabric designs.
I made croissants today. The recipe I have makes about 12 croissants which is way too many for two people. The last time I made croissants, I cut the dough in half after the final turn and froze one half. I thawed and baked that half today. Turns out, croissant dough freezes quite well.
I’m still learning to use the Canon 90D. This is going to take a while, and I’m going to have fun learning.
Tinker posed. I wish I had set the white balance first, but he rarely poses. Usually, he hides as soon as I grab my camera.
I put the macro lens on the camera and took it for a spin around the back yard. When I was using the Canon T3i, I always shot RAW. I needed the extra data for a sharp photo. With the 90D, I can shoot in JPEG. I’m amazed at how sharp the photos are. Saves a whole lot of space on the laptop.
I did a bit of portrait work.
Curlicues on a yucca.
Field of spring. I’ll have iris blooms in a couple weeks.
Things do rust in the desert. It just takes a lot longer for rust. We have single digit humidity in the winter.
I’ve said for years that medical marijuana is nonsense. So many of my drug addicted clients paid a quack $100-$200, said s/he had an owie, and got a medical marijuana card. Locally, there’s a place where, for $125, you can be diagnosed – in 10 minutes – with PTSD and get a medical marijuana card. All you have to do is memorize a few of the symptoms listed in the DSM-V.
Having a medical marijuana card still leaves a basket full of legal problems. Marijuana is a Schedule I drug meaning it has a high probability for abuse and little or no medical benefit. Before you tell me marijuana is wonderful, safe, shouldn’t be illegal, is never addicting and you smoke it every night so you can get to sleep, walk in my legal briefs for a day. One client, who wasn’t supposed to be able to get pregnant, gave birth 13 weeks early. Her baby had severe medical problems due to being so premature. The baby was also born addicted to crack. The child protective worker told me to talk my client into signing a do not resuscitate order for the baby who was in and would never leave the NICU. In a moment of amazing self control, I refrained from asking the child protective worker why I shouldn’t throw the child protective worker out the window. We were only on the fourth floor. Maybe she would have lived. The only thing I could do for my client was to delay the proceedings long enough that the baby died so there was no point in continuing the child abuse case. Another client, a child, had problems that would never be solved. Her parents used prior to, and still used at the time of the hearing, cocaine. The damage done to the child while in utero cannot be undone. At least not with the medical capabilities we now have.
Although the DEA isn’t going after users of medical marijuana today, that can change. Having a medical marijuana card doesn’t protect you from being fired for illegal drug use. There’s federal case law on that. The rational is that marijuana is illegal under federal law therefore employers can legally fire an employee who tests positive for THC.
There is no full faith and credit for a medical marijuana card. Full faith and credit means every state recognizes the court order or legality of something. If you get married in one state, every other state will acknowledge your marriage. If you have a child custody order, the terms of that order are enforceable in every state. Your medical marijuana card is only valid in the state in which it was issued. You can’t take your medical marijuana across state lines and expect your card and stash to be recognized. If you get caught, you will face drug charges.
I’m about to do something I don’t believe in. I’m desperate. Peripheral neuropathy is painful. When I have a flare up, nothing stops the pain. Not gabapentin. Not a TENS unit. Not synthetic opioids. Not CBD oil. Not acupuncture. I take my gabapentin, make a CBD oil capsule and swallow it, and wear my TENS unit to bed. I wake up in pain 2-3 hours later. Then I wander around the house for another hour waiting for the pain to subside before going back to bed and getting a couple hours’ sleep before the alarm rings. I cannot live like this.
I have an appointment with my doctor in a week and a half. I have copies of three nerve conduction studies done by three doctors over a period of five years showing I have nerve damage and the damage is getting progressively worse. New Mexico will give a medical marijuana card for a number of reasons, including peripheral neuropathy if I can show proof of the nerve damage and have a doctor sign off on the special form to obtain a medical marijuana card. I will ask my doctor to sign the form. If she is reluctant to do that, I will go to the local quack, hand over $100 and copies of the nerve conduction studies. The quack will sign the form. The form and copies of the nerve conduction series get mailed to Santa Fe and in a month, I will get a card allowing me to buy marijuana from licensed dispensaries. I will buy gummy bears. The next time I get a flare up, I’ll chew on a gummy bear, listen to Grateful Dead music, and hope I’m wrong about medical marijuana being nonsense.
My Valentine’s Day present, a Canon 90D, arrived this week. I’m learning how to use it. I’ve been using a Canon T3i so digital photography isn’t new for me. The controls on the 90D are in places that I’m not used to. I’m learning the depth of field of assorted apertures. Most cameras, SLRs and DSLRs, have a button that when pushed is supposed to show the depth of field. I’ve never found that button useful. Instead, I got to know the T3i and what I could expect from assorted apertures. Now, I get to learn the 90D and what I can expect from assorted apertures. So far, I’ve learned how to set the date and time and to turn on live view. The 90D has in-camera focus stacking which I’m looking forward to learning how to use. I’ll be able to photograph the jewelry I make and have every bead be in focus.
I’m having a weird disconnect today courtesy of bipolar disorder. I’m angry when there’s no reason to be angry. My moods have minds of their own. It’s annoying at times, but it does make life interesting. About all I can do today is make art. I’ve been editing photos.
On Friday, Jim and I went to Mesilla, NM so I could begin to learn the 90D. It was cold, damp, and complete cloud cover. Absolutely imperfect conditions for photography.
Mesilla is where Billy the Kid hung out before Pat Garrett shot him. Billy, a thief, cattle rustler, and murderer, is revered in this state.
Like many towns in New Mexico, Mesilla has a plaza – the southwest version of a town square. That’s where we went. The Mesilla has restrictive zoning ordinances and rehabbing is strictly regulated. The idea was to keep the 19th century charm of the town. Rather than charm, the town has decrepit, badly rehabbed buildings – none of which feature a straight wall, overhead powerlines, and Rube Goldberg type swamp cooler contraptions retrofitted for a building that was never meant to have plumbing and electricity. A swamp cooler works, sort of, by letting wind blow over water soaked pads. The now wet air is sent into the building. The theory is when the water in the air evaporates, the air temperature will drop. No, swamp coolers don’t work well.
In the photos below, you can see the original wood beam over the window, original adobe, and the challenge of getting wiring into a building that was never intended to have wiring.
Nothing is straight.
I didn’t like this next shot until I realized it shows everything that can go wrong with historic preservation. Overhead power lines. Parking where parking shouldn’t be because it’s impossible to park on the narrow streets. The streets can’t be made any wider because the buildings are so close to the street a sidewalk barely fits between the building and the street. The church has a parking lot, but the entrance to the lot has a chain across it keeping cars out. I still don’t like the shot, but now I don’t like it because it’s an accurate depiction of Mesilla. No place left for Billy the Kid to park his horse.
Even the charming places aren’t charming. Those yellow things on the top of the building are candelurias and are a traditional Christmas light here.
It’s time for someone to tell the 19th century charm emperor that he’s naked.
I did some portrait work while we were in Mesilla.
I’m not yet worked through all the emotions I have following the suicide of someone I know. I’ve got a fuzzy idea for another quilt. It’s so hard getting my feelings into fiber. I have ideas, but when I work out the ideas, the feelings aren’t in the quilt.
It snowed on Tuesday night, and we had a snow day on Wednesday. Almost a snow day. The university was on a 2-hour delay. We don’t have plows here, and the snow is usually gone by 10:00 AM. My class is from 9:30 to 10:20. No point going in for 20 minutes. The teacher must have agreed with me because she cancelled class. So, we went to Aguirre Springs to do some snow shooting. Aguirre Springs is a multi-use area run by the Bureau of Land Management. And it was closed on Wednesday.
I learned that fog plays havoc with auto focus. Fortunately, I frequently prefer to use manual focus. I tried photographing the strange light, but I wasn’t successful. I got some interesting shots, but all the editing I could think of didn’t make the photo look like what I saw.
I learned how to make collages and combine photos in PhotoScape X. It’s a free app for use on a Mac. The resulting photos make intriguing fabric designs.
For Valentine’s Day 1980, Jim gave me my first SLR – a Canon AT1, the last fully manual camera Canon made. Today, he gave me my second DSLR. I have a Canon T3i that came out in 2011. My Canon 90D, which just came out, will arrive in 2-3 days. The 90D has some features I’m going to love. In camera focus stacking so I can get every bead of every piece of jewelry absolutely in focus. There are 40+ focus points. I like to use manual focus and when a focus point lights up, I know what part of the frame is in focus. It’s handy for macro photography. I bought extra batteries, because one can never have too many batteries. I do a whole lot of outdoor photography and if I don’t have spare batteries, I can only shoot until my battery is dead. I bought an extra memory card because it’s impossible to have too many memory cards. I shoot in RAW and those files are huge.
I waited too long to photograph fabric outside. We’re having WIND. I was stuck with either not photographing my latest fun stuff, or taking crappy photos. Herewith are some crappy photos.
As many of you know, I have a Spoonflower shop. If you click on a fabric design, then click on “All Products,” you can see how the fabric looks as table linens, bedding, curtains and wallpaper. I am having so much fun playing around, manipulating photos and creating fabric designs. Before I can sell my designs, I have to order proofs of the designs. These are the proofs I’ve gotten back.
I’m taking a yoga class this semester and I needed yoga pants. I altered a yoga pants pattern, got out the binders, dye and bucket, and made yoga pants. I put patch pockets on the pants, but I’m not thrilled about where I put them. Next time, I want to try welt pockets.
In case you’ve ever wondered, it’s not a good idea to try to do photography and bake simultaneously. The timer kept going off.
Sourdough cherry coffeecake with crumb topping.
I don’t run from my triggers because I don’t want painful memories to own me. I have been binging on ER. The other night, I watched a couple episodes that dealt with the suicide of one of the doctors. Having been suicidal and knowing someone who committed suicide, I respond to such stories on an emotional level. I had to spend quality time writing after watching the episodes. My first emotional art was ceramic. I didn’t understand what I was feeling until my feelings came out of my hands and into clay. I’m now having the same understanding by letting my feelings come out through my fingers and into my laptop. I was a writer long before my art meandered into clay, fiber and beads. Oddly, it has only been the last year that I’ve created emotional writing.
Deb's Art 