Category: Judiasm

Posted in Antisemitism, Hannukah, Judiasm

You’d Think After 5786 Years They Would Give Up

Posted on by debthumanblog

There were armed guards. There was enhanced police protection. Guards and police scanning the rooftops in search of snipers. Scanning the crowd of families looking for terrorists.

I wasn’t in a war zone. I was at a public Hanukkah celebration in Las Cruces, New Mexico. The day after a terrorist attack at a Hanukkah celebration in Sydney, Australia. Before I left, I told Jim that I’d leave the celebration at the first sign of trouble. We both knew that I meant I’d leave when the first bullet struck.

People have been trying to wipe out the Jews for 5786 years. We are still here.

Hanukkah is the celebration of a tiny band of warriors defeating a huge army. A celebration when we threw them out of our temple, cleaned out their gods, and consecrated the temple. When we took back what is ours. The Torah. The right to study Torah. The right to pray. The right to be Jewish. There’s an eternal light in temples that must never be extinguished. Today, that light is electric. Then, the light was oil. But there was only enough oil for one day. Some went off in search of the proper oil. It took them eight days to get the oil and come back to the temple. That one day’s worth of oil lasted eight days.

Hanukkah is when I remember we are still here. We have never been defeated. We survived the Spanish Inquisition. We survived the Holocaust. We survived Hamas and Hezbollah. We survived being shut out of neighborhoods and jobs. My great-great-grandparents lived by the rule of never doing anything in public that would cause someone to think they were Jewish. They lived in secret because they lived beyond the Pale of Settlement. We’ve had setbacks, but we are still here. We have a homeland. Even in the middle of a war, Israel is still the only place on the planet where it’s safe to be a Jew. We are a mighty, tiny group. 0.2% of the world’s population. Since the beginning, we have had to fight for our right to exist.

When was the last time you went to a Christmas party and there were armed guards, extra police scanning the crowd looking for terrorists. Scanning the rooftops looking for snipers. Trying to stop trouble before the first bullet flew.

Posted in Abstract Art, Child abuse, Judiasm

Trying to figure out what’s next

Posted on by debthumanblog

Some people wear their heart on their sleeve. I wear my heart on my art. I know what I want to say, but I haven’t figured out how I want to say it although I have some ideas.

I have my grandmother’s candlesticks. We always had candles on the table for holiday dinners. My family came from Dittersdorf, East Prussia cleverly disguised as German Lutherans. It took a lot of research, 120 years, and pure dumb luck discovering my grandmother’s bad German was Yiddish to see past the disguise. It wasn’t safe to be openly Jewish when my great-great-grandparents arrived in America although Jewish traditions were kept. Sort of. Cleaning had to be done on Friday and only on Friday. When I was little, we didn’t go anywhere on Saturday. And lit candles had to be on the table for holiday dinners. Jim’s family was different. On the rare occasions there were candles, they weren’t lit. We lost sight of who we are and what we believe since 1888 when my great-great-grandparents arrived in America. But we’ve kept our traditions. Now, I keep our faith and I don’t hide the fact I’m Jewish even though being openly Jewish right now is dangerous. This piece could work as either a quilt or a painting.

This is about child abuse and how I would hide from my mother and The Drunk. I would like it to be on three levels. Blue on the bottom, gray in the middle and green on the top. After the inauguration in 2017, I was so angry, I made a quilt featuring a life-size, nearly anatomically correct, 3-d depiction of a vulva – complete with a Swarovski crystal for the clitoris. It was quite the challenge to figure out how to sew it onto the quilt and then to actually sew it onto the quilt. I don’t think I want to try a 3-d quilt again. I’m not sure this would work as a flat quilt.

It could be a painting. I’d need Jim to make the “canvas” out of wood and float the gray and green levels. My painting teacher would like to see more work where Jim helps me fashion the “canvas.”

Eventually, I’ll get it all figured out.

I’m linking with Nina Marie here: https://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com/2025/01/american-art-and-portraiture-on-off.html

My store, Deb Thuman Art, is here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com

My Spoonflower shop is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman

Posted in Embroidery machine, Fiber, Hate Crime, Judiasm, Sewing

Terror

Posted on by debthumanblog

So much has happened this week, and it’s only Wednesday.

Monday was our 52nd anniversary. I had hoped to do something special on our 50th anniversary, but we were having a pandemic and deranged passengers thought it was fun to have a brawl in mid-flight. Not the kind of excitement I was looking for. Brady is learning fast and doing well, but she’s not fully trained yet. I cannot fly with her until she’s fully trained. And so a special cruise is not going to happen for a while.

Today, I get fitted for a boot that will allow me to get around without further damaging my achilles tendon giving the tendon a chance to heal. Also today, we will celebrate our anniversary by going to a restaurant for lunch. Brady will be with us. When we take her with us to a restaurant, we make sure we arrive at an off time. I need a table that’s out of the way and large enough that she can fit under the table. A table in a corner is preferable.

While my tendon heals, I’ve been having to use a walker to get around. I decided to make a bag for my walker. I used a Kwik Sew pattern and the pattern had a few mistakes. I had to redraft the pattern to make the bag 3 inches longer and 1 inch wider. I also needed to adjust the length of the straps that attach the bag to the walker. The strap length of the original pattern was too short.

This was the bag I made with the original pattern.

The new and improved bag. I made it from some upholstery fabric I found for $4.99 a yard at JoAnn’s.

I did an embroidery design on the inside of the flap. No reason why I shouldn’t have something cute to look at when I open the bag. I used proofs of my Spoonflower designs for the lining.

And the back of the bag. I didn’t realize the Star of David didn’t point straight up so I didn’t change the orientation.

My rabbi sent an email to the congregation yesterday. A credible threat had been made to our temple and our congregation. Local police and FBI are investigating. There will be security during services, but a couple rent-a-cops aren’t much of a defense against a terrorist. I’ll be attending services via zoom. I’m so tired of being afraid. I’m so tired of university presidents granting legitimacy to pro-hamas terrorists. I’m so tired of people not taking anti-Semitism seriously. I’m tried of researching military-grade body armor capable of stopping a round from an assault rifle. Unfortunately, the strongest armor is the one class that isn’t made to protect a woman’s body. I’m tired of leaving Brady home because I’m worried that I won’t be able to protect her. When my great-great-grandparents along with my 10-month-0ld great-grandmother left East Prussia, they were disguised as German Lutherans. Now I understand why they hid. I’m torn between wanting to stand up to terrorists and refuse to be bullied into hiding and not wanting to get killed.

I’m linking with Nina Marie here: https://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com

My online store, Deb Thuman Art is here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com

My Spoonflower shop is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman

Posted in anxiety, Bigotry, Israel, Judiasm

Terrorism

Posted on by debthumanblog

Today is Yom HaShoah, Israeli Holocaust Remembrance Day. The day I remember those who were murdered and those who fought and died so I could have a homeland. I honored the day by confronting terrorists.

There was an encampment at the university. This was billed as free speech. The First Amendment is not now and never was absolute. You can’t yet fire in a crowded theater. But you can call for the genocide of Jews and the obliteration of Israel, my homeland. That’s perfectly acceptable.

I went to take photos to send to the FBI. Depending on how much walking I need to do, and I needed to do a lot, I have to use a walker. The terrorists called the police. And that’s the extent of the details I can talk about because of the possibility of criminal charges. I had hoped the officer would accept my passport as my ID. My passport has my post office box address rather than my home address. Unfortunately, he asked for my license which has my home address. Never have I been so glad to be living next door to the sheriff. I’ve sent her an email explaining the situation and saying there might be a problem if the terrorists get my home address. That’s not supposed to happen, but life doesn’t always go according to the script. I’ve told Jim to call 911 immediately if he sees anyone he doesn’t recognize around the house. I’ve got security cameras on the front, back and side of the house.

When my great-great-grandparents along with my 10-month-old great-grandmother left Europe, they came disguised as German Lutherans. They were Polish Jews. My grandmother, who thought she was a German Lutheran, was taught never to do anything that would make people think she was Jewish. I was always horrified by that.

Today, to my shame, I hid. I wore nothing, said nothing, and did nothing to make the terrorists think I’m Jewish. Because I hid, I’m home scared rather than in the hospital wondering what my insurance will cover.

Am Yisrael Chai! The people of Israel live.

Posted in Judiasm

Where I come from. I think.

Posted on by debthumanblog

I’m reading Seamstresses of Auschwitz. It’s about women who stayed alive in Auschwitz by sewing garments for Nazi wives. This is a factual account; I can’t bring myself to read Holocaust fiction. I hold the accounts written by survivors to be sacred. The only exception was a fiction story a classmate wrote for a writing class I took. It was an incredible story and the classmate is an incredible writer. As we talked about the story in class, another classmate asked if Elie Wiesel’s Night was fiction. It’s his account of his time in Auschwitz.

Reading about the Holocaust makes me want to know more about where my family came from. According to citizenship papers, which I found in the basement of the Erie County Courthouse, my maternal grandmother’s maternal grandparents were from East Prussia. More digging and I learned they were from Dittersdorf, East Prussia. I’ve never been able to find Dittersdorf on a map. The name translates to small village. Although the family story was they were Lutherans and came from Germany and spoke Hoch Duetsch, the reality is far different. They spoke Yiddish. And who spoke Yiddish in East Prussia in 1888? Not German Lutherans. My grandmother and her siblings were taught to respect all religions but never do anything to make people think they were Jewish. My grandmother was horrified when she found out I ate a bagel in public. Years later, when I had a Jewish psychologist and explained I was brought up Catholic, he asked me who taught me to be Jewish. I certainly didn’t learn it from my mother. Must have picked up Jewish from my grandmother. She cleaned the house on Friday. No other day of the week would do. Cleaning could only be done on Friday. A Jewish custom is to clean on Friday so the house would be clean for Shabbat. We always had candles on the table for holiday dinners. Two candles and the candles were always lit. I now have the candlesticks my grandmother used for holidays. Jim’s family, who came from a region of Poland more or less near where my family came from, almost never had candles. When they did have candles, they weren’t lit. A Jewish custom is to have two candles on the table for Shabbat and other Jewish holidays.

My grandmother is one of six children. In birth order, Sydney, Benjamin, Esther, Harold, Alfreda, Naomi. My grandmother once said their names made them sound as if they were Jewish. My grandmother told me about how her grandmother had a huge wedding certificate hanging on the wall because that’s the way they did it in the old country. A Jewish marriage ceremony contains a ketuba, a marriage contract. Many are incredibly beautiful and are hung on the wall. My grandmother was English only so she had no idea if the marriage certificate was in German or Hebrew. My grandmother said it was okay for her mother to speak German because she was born in Germany. The family story was her mother was two when she arrived in New York. No, she was 10 months old when she arrived. Either way, where would she have learned to speak? Certainly not in Germany. Her siblings, all born in the United States, spoke German – or what my grandmother was told was German. They were speaking Yiddish. This was so the kids – my grandmother’s generation – wouldn’t know what the grown ups were talking about.

Oddly, when my grandmother’s maternal grandparents came to Buffalo, NY, they didn’t settle in the vast German neighborhood on the East Side. They settled in the Central Park neighborhood in North Buffalo. So many mysteries. So few clues. So many questions to which there aren’t any answers.

Who am I? A Jewish remnant of a family so terrified they hid their Jewishness from their children? A Jew who got it all wrong about the family history? I don’t know the answer.

Posted in Brady, Dyeing, Fiber, Judiasm

Happy Birthday Brady

Posted on by debthumanblog

Brady, the world’s cutest labradoodle, will be celebrating her third birthday on Tuesday.

Brady is learning to be my service dog, and we had a service dog group session yesterday. To celebrate her birthday, I made 20 hand-dyed dog bandanas. The humans for the four other dogs in the service dog group picked out bandanas for their dogs.

Rather than doing tie dye with string, I used binder clips to make a resist.

We’re having a critique in my painting class on Tuesday. I thought I was done with three self-portraits, but I saw a fourth in my head and it demanded to be painted.

The word on the yellow painting is the Hebrew word for life.

The words on the green painting are the Hebrew for “I am,” and “I will be.”

I still have no voice on campus, but I will not be silent.

Posted in Hannukah, Judiasm

חנוכה

Posted on by debthumanblog

Put on your yamaka, it’s time for Hannukah……

Contrary to Adam Sandlar’s song about “eight crazy nights” of presents, Hanukkah is not Jewish Christmas. Hanukkah celebrates a small band of warriors led by Judah the Macabee – Judah the Hammer in English – defeating a great army and retaking the temple in Jerusalem. Temples have eternal lights. At that time, the light was lit by oil. Now, the eternal light is lit by an electric bulb. Once the temple was retaken, the eternal light had to be lit. But there was only enough oil for one day. It would take eight days to fetch more oil and return. That one day’s worth of oil lasted for eight days.

A Hanukkah story written by Woody Guthrie’s mother-in-law and set to music by and sung by Woody is here: https://youtu.be/mpg-kkwXpwE?si=FYrFBOmAEIaVH9Y8

In 1888, Karl Tiedemann, his wife Augusta, and their 10-month-old daughter Otelia boarded a boat in Hamburg, Germany climbed down into the hold of the ship where the not rich folks lived dormitory stile with utterly no privacy and little fresh air, for a three-week voyage to the New World. Think about that for a minute. No disposable diapers. No bottles of formula. Otelia got nursed in public and her diapers were washed out by hand. Karl and Augusta spoke Yiddish and moved to a country where they had to learn a new language. How desperate would you have to be to make that voyage?

I’m alive because Karl and Augusta were desperate enough and had enough good sense to leave Dittersdorf, East Prussia. On Kristalnacht, November 9, 1938, the good people of Dittersdorf and surrounding area rounded up every Jew they could find and murdered all 2000 of them. That’s why the pro-hamas rally held at New Mexico State University on the anniversary of Kristalnacht was so offensive to me.

Karl and Augusta came to the US disguised as German Lutherans. They were neither. They told their grandchildren, all of whom only spoke English, that they spoke Hoch Duetsch – a highly grammatically correct version of German. They probably did. At that time in East Prussia, all business was conducted in Hoch Duetsch.

My grandmother was Otilia’s daughter. By the time I came along in 1952, the family myth was firmly engrained and taught to me. I was taught to never, under any circumstances, do anything to make someone think I’m Jewish. I was also taught to respect all religions. My grandmother nearly had a heart attack when I told her I ate a bagel in a diner. Oddly, my grandmother then started buying bagels, toasting them, and making bagel sandwiches.

One day, my grandmother rattled off the names of herself and her siblings: Sydney, Benjamin, Esther (my grandmother), Harold, Alfreda and Naomi. “We sound like we’re Jewish!” One day, my grandmother told me what her grandmother, Augusta, said. “And she spoke Hoch Duetsch!” Not like that she didn’t.

Every holiday, there were lit candles on the table while we ate. The candles were always held in candleholders that were Otilia’s. It wasn’t until I got married that I discovered candles during holiday dinners weren’t ubiquitous.

We were different.

Years later, I read the same phrase that my grandmother used in a book written by Faye Kellerman and realized, we are Jewish. Eventually, I chose a Jewish psychologist to help me through mental misery. He asked me who taught me to be Jewish. Huh? What was he talking about? Is that why I was so attracted to Jewish friends I had collected in school?

I have my grandmother’s candlesticks that originally belonged to her mother. I believe they were Otilia’s shabbat candlesticks.

I worked in the NM Public Defender Department for 16 years. Every December, the office was – illegally – decorated like Rockefeller Center for Christmas. There was no menorah. Although it was forbidden by the head of my office, I snuck a ceramic menorah I had made specifically to sit on the windowsill of my office window into my office. Jim took dowels and whittled them into “candles.” Every night before I went home, I put another candle in the menorah. Because no one knew what it was, I was able to hang a mezuzah next to my office door.

Thursday, December 7, after sundown I will light the first candles of Hanukkah. The ceramic menorah I made sits in a window. Sometime during the eight days of Hanukkah, I will make latkes. There will be no presents.

I am proud to be seed of the Jews.

חג שמח, chag samaech, happy Hanukkah.

Posted in Depression, Emotions, Israel, Judiasm, Photography

A Brief Period of Uneasy Calm

Posted on by debthumanblog

I couldn’t bring myself to go to the painting studio on campus this week. I’m feeling better, calmer, and it’s transitory. I’ll be back on campus on Monday. I’m still afraid. I’m still angry. I’m afraid my painting will be ruined by the person who flung the hate crime at me. I’m afraid of being physically attacked by hamas sympathizers.

I don’t like feeling like this.

Meanwhile, someone hacked my website, http://www.DebThumanArt.com. When I checked my site, I got a page warning me that I was about to visit a page full of malware. It took several hours, but I finally got the page fixed. According to Wix, there’s no malware on my page. There is some interesting art on my page and all of it for sale.

I started playing around with a photo I took several months ago.

I was set to get into bed when I looked out the window and saw a big, orange moon setting. I grabbed my camera, went outside without wearing shoes or a jacket, and started shooting.

I’ve been playing with text. Rather than using one of the regular fonts, I started using symbol fonts. This is what you get when you write: LILIL over and over.

This one is Love written over and over.

I just finished ordering proofs of 96 fabric designs. Once the proofs arrive, I’ll be putting the designs into my Spoonflower shop https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman I finally put the 84 designs that had been sitting and waiting for me into the store.

Am Yisrael Chai!

The people of Israel live!

Posted in anxiety, Bigotry, Emotions, Israel, Judiasm

Terrorists Don’t Start With A Bomb

Posted on by debthumanblog

Hate crimes don’t always include violence, hateful graffiti, or a fire bomb although all of those things constitute a hate crime. Terrorists don’t start with a bomb although they frequently end with a bomb.

I am on the receiving end of a hate crime committed by a woman I strongly suspect is a terrorist. She told me to stop talking when I was speaking about hamas kidnapping an elderly Holocaust victim. Then, she lied, slandered me and attacked my reputation by claiming I said Palestinians are disgusting. I never used the word Palestinian and I never used the word disgusting. My fight isn’t with Palestinians, it’s with hamas – a group the US deemed a terrorist organization in 1997. Palestinians didn’t murder, kidnap, burn alive and decapitate Israelis on October 7, 2023. Hamas did all that. The people of Gaza voted hamas to govern them in 2006. There hasn’t been an election since. I suspect the majority of Palestinians wish hamas had never been voted in.

Although the people at the Office of Institutional Equity – the office New Mexico State University has designated as the proper office to report discrimination – said they didn’t believe the woman’s claims, her slander of me is protected speech. I’ve been an attorney for nearly 30 years. I was a cooperating attorney for the New York Civil Liberties Union for five years. I know slander is definitely not protected speech. Unless it’s anti-Semitism and it happens at NMSU.

Since October 7, 2023, there have been two pro-hamas rallies on campus. I doubt even half the students who participated realized they were supporting hamas. They thought they were supporting Palestinians when they called for the obliteration of Israel. The second rally is strong evidence that hamas is behind these rallies. The rally was held on November 9, 2023. November 9 is the anniversary of kristalnacht when the nazis went on a terror rampage, burned synagogs, destroyed businesses owned by Jews, and wantonly killed Jews. The only reason to schedule that rally on that date was to terrorize Jews.

I suspect the hate criminal is a terrorist. She’s most certainly a hamas sympathizer. If you see something, say something. Great advice. Try finding someone to say something to. I went in search of the FBI office is Las Cruces. I couldn’t find one on google. I walked into the federal court house in Las Cruces, walked up to a federal Marshall, and said: I need to talk to someone about a suspected terrorist. Result? I was sent on a wild goose chase in search of an office that didn’t exist. What should have happened was to have me sit down and then search for someone I could talk to. Has terrorism become so normalized that we no longer respond to threats?

Eventually, I discovered the only FBI office in NM was in Albuquerque – 230 miles north of Las Cruces. I called what was supposed to be the number for the Albuquerque office. After a half hour on hold, I finally got to talk to someone. I was puzzled when the person asked me to spell Las Cruces. That’s when I discovered the Albuquerque office phone number is not answered in Albuquerque but answered in Washington DC.

Arlo Guthrie did a piece about dedicating a song to the FBI. The story line has advice for The Last Guy – no one has it worse than that guy. All he has to do to have some excitement in his life is to bum a dime and call the FBI. “FBI? Yes. I dig Uncle Ho and Chairman Mao and all their friends are coming for dinner. Hang up the phone.” Arlo was wrong; I had it worse than the Last Guy. I couldn’t call the FBI because the FBI doesn’t want to be called.

I’m afraid when I’m on campus. How afraid? I’ve argued before the NM Supreme Court three times – the last time was to save an old man’s life, I’ve worked on death penalty cases, I’ve done more than 120 trials, I’ve got more guts than brains. I’m afraid when I’m on campus. I am armed at all times when I’m on campus and I keep my weapons on my person and not in my backpack. A weapon I can’t reach when I’ve only a few seconds to respond is useless. I have the number for the campus police programmed into my phone. I have a way to call 911 in an emergency by pressing two buttons on my cellphone. I keep my cellphone in my pocket. I have a way to call 911 in an emergency using my Apple Watch. I always wear my Apple Watch.

I had planned on taking another painting class and an astronomy class next semester. Now, I don’t know if it will be safe for me to do that.

This is the schematic for a painting I’m doing.

I’m afraid to work on it during class time because I’m afraid of what the hate criminal will do to my painting or to me. I’m Jewish. I have no protection. I have no freedom of speech even when I’m quoting what legitimate news sources around the world are reporting.

I only have one thing to say. Fuck hamas.

Posted in Bigotry, Emotions, Israel, Judiasm

Fighting Back

Posted on by debthumanblog

This post contains a word some people find offensive. There is no other word that expresses what I feel, so the word stays.

I’m working on a post modern painting for my painting class. I’ve figured out what images I want and I’ve done a preliminary layout. I need to look at the arrangement tomorrow to see if I’ve got what I want or if I need to tweak the layout.

The impetus for this painting is my experiences since October 7, 2023. Today, I got an email from the VP of Equity, Diversion and Inclusivity telling me how open and welcoming the NMSU campus is and how we have this wonderful diversion and inclusivity. Here is my response:

What university are you talking about? NMSU doesn’t have inclusivity or diversity. I’m Jewish. Since October 10, 2023, I’ve been on the receiving end of anti-Semitism and a hate crime. I’ve reported this to the Anti-Defamation League and other groups that support Jews on campus and fight anti-Semitism.  I reported this to the Office of Institutional Equity. 

The university’s response was to tell me to get counseling. 

I have to be armed at all times when I’m on campus and I keep my weapons on my person. 

I had to make a safety plan in order to attend my painting class. 

I’m alone. I’m scared. I’m not going away. 

I’m not going to stay quiet while you and others in administration lie to the community about this being a university committed to diversity and inclusion. 

Deborah Lee Thuman

Attorney at Law

Am Yisrael Chai

The People of Israel Live

Let the shitstorm begin!

Here’s the preliminary layout and closeups of the images.

The transliteration of the Hebrew is: Am Yisrael Chai. The translation is: The People of Israel Live.

This is a schematic of a eucalyptus leaf. In the early part of the 20th century, Zionists collected money and bought land in Israel. The land was useless swamp. They planted eucalyptus trees to suck up the water thereby draining the swamp and leaving land good for growing crops.

I can’t decide which is worse; kidnapping an infant or decapitating a small child. I need to correct the spelling error.

This one may be a dangerous thing to say, but I’m going to say it anyway.

Remember the poster from the 60’s – You have not converted a man simply because you have silenced him. This woman will not be silenced.

This is the insignia of IDF Special Forces.

Iron Dome destroying hamas rockets.

I wish I were making that up, but I’m not. I kept the email.

I’m aware there are people who find the first word offensive. I find hamas offensive. There was a pro-hamas rally on campus. It was billed as pro-palestinian, but it was really pro-hamas.

A safety plan to attend a painting class. I never thought I’d have to do such a thing.

This is the preliminary layout.

My online store: Deb Thuman Art is here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com

Posted in anxiety, Bigotry, Brady, Depression, Fiber, Israel, Judiasm, Quilts

Alone In A Sea of Hate

Posted on by debthumanblog

Every time I think I’m over reacting, I realize what happened is worse than I thought. First, I thought the person’s reaction was odd. Then, I realized it was anti-semitism. Then, I discovered the person slandered me. Then I discovered the university views slander as protected speech. It’s not; but I know the attorney who made that decision and I’m not surprised by such a glaring misstatement of law.

22K+ students at NMSU, and I’m the lone Jew. Hillel has no presence on campus. Chabad has no presence on campus. In 44 semesters of continuing education, only twice was there another Jew in my class.

I’m alone.

I’m armed at all times when I’m on campus. I carry pepper gel and a stun gun. I have a safety plan in place. I have the campus police telephone number programmed into my phone.

According to the president of the university, if I’m upset by what’s happening in Israel, I should go to counseling. According to the Office of Institutional Equity, if I’m upset by the hate crime hurled at me, I should go to counseling.

This past Tuesday, I went to the campus police to report that what I thought was odd, rose to the level of a hate crime pursuant to New Mexico law. Knowing I couldn’t manage without Brady, my service dog in training, I took her with me. I had to hug her twice just to get through the day.

After taking to the police, I was so upset about being on the receiving end of a hate crime, I couldn’t eat and could not enjoy the drink I ordered at Starbucks. Brady and I explored the library. Here she is looking at books and searching for the book with the recipes for dog treats.

I had arranged to meet with my painting teacher outside of the painting studio. It was a good plan. Except I had to go into the painting studio to fetch my paintings and the hate criminal was in the painting studio.

The next morning, I woke up and decided the hate criminal had taken all she was going to take away from me and I was taking back my life. The hate criminal isn’t done with me yet. Apparently, she has the mental capacity of a 12-year-old and is doing petty, childish things just to piss me off. I’m doing my best to ignore her. She’s not going away, but neither am I.

My art has changed.

It’s not finished and the painting is on an easel so there’s only so much I can do to eliminate the background.

Also not finished and also still on the easel. Suddenly, I’m painting about being alone, I’m facing evil, and no one is going to help me. I’m trying not to hate Muslims. I’m trying to remember that Muslims are not terrorists and terrorists are not Muslims. Terrorists worship hatred and murder. News organizations have gotten recordings of terrorists’ cell phone calls bragging about murdering Jews on October 7, 2023.

According to the Anti-Defamation League, “Since the October 7th terrorist massacre by Hamas in Israel, we’ve seen a nearly 400 percent increase in antisemitic incidents across the United States.”

The fact that the crap that has happened to me is happening to Jewish students on college campuses across the country doesn’t make me feel better. There’s a new rallying cry at Columbia law school: Fuck Jews.

I’m alone.

I’m scared.

I have only myself to rely on to protect me.

The last time I had this much anxiety, I was studying for the NY bar exam.

Posted in Abstract Art, Judiasm, Photography

There Used To Be Magic

Posted on by debthumanblog

Mine is the last generation that will see magic in the night sky. Ancient people looked up at the sky, and saw stars arranged into constellations. Legends were created for these constellations. Escaping slaves followed the drinking gourd which pointed to the north star as they traveled along the underground railroad. The moon was made of green cheese. People counted, and some still do, time by the phases of the moon. There was a Man In The Moon. The night sky was filled with magic.

In July 1969, the magic died. The instant Neil Armstrong’s boot touched the surface of the moon, we exchanged magic for knowledge. We lost more than we gained.

I took Brady out to pee, and looked up. There was a smiling moon and a bright venus. I tried to put magic back into the night sky by making the moon out of green cheese.

Life. This one surprised me. Although it was not my conscious intention, there’s a Hebrew letter here. It’s called “shin” and the letter makes the sh sound. It’s also the first letter of one of our most important prayers and the letter that adorns a mezuzzah.

Gestation.

This is the first in a series of three paintings about life. When I was little, I tried hard to remember where I was before I was born. I couldn’t access the memory but I knew I existed before I was born. I eventually came to understand the concept of a soul. The soul exists long before conception and long after death.

Life.

Death.

I need to clean up the edges on this one.

I’m linking with Nina Marie here: https://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com/

My store is here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com

My Spoonflower shop is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman

Posted in anxiety, Judiasm, Photography, Suicide

Life As I See It

Posted on by debthumanblog

I did the final shots for Shalom Shabbat and Yahrzeit. Yahrzeit was shot at the beginning of the yahrzeit for the person I knew who committed suicide three years ago. Then, I let the candle burn down and thought about how the person’s life burned down and disappeared. I still don’t understand why the suicide happened and I’m not enthralled with the idea I will never understand. This is the first time I was able to say kaddish. I broke down after the first two words and had to force myself to say the rest of the prayer.

Shabbat Shalom
Yahrzeit

I’ve taken a few more shots for the sense of place assignment for my photography class. I made the decision that I’ll do the assignments that interest me and forget about the rest. It’s a difficult class. The subject matter isn’t difficult – it’s the class itself that is causing severe anxiety. The class is taught by a grad student. I’ve had grad student teachers before and some are fantastic. This grad student is far from fantastic. She proclaimed Annie Leibowitz is a fashion photographer. Certainly what John Lennon was wearing in the famous shot taken a few hours before he was killed was fashion forward. I had no idea Rolling Stone had a fashion section. Yes, Leibowitz shot several covers for Vogue, but those shots are clearly portrait shots. To shoot a good portrait shot, you have to focus on the person’s eyes. Fashion photography focuses on the clothing. The covers Leibowitz shot focus on the face and the clothing is an after thought. The student next to me said that Georgia O’Keeffe was “some sort of artist, I think.” I live in southern New Mexico and it’s impossible for me to imagine any art student here isn’t familiar with Georgia O’Keeffe’s work. I try not to have physical reactions to things the other students say, but I did a face plant when I heard that. 

I started playing around with a photo of a bunny-munched prickly pear cactus pad.

I got out the macro lens to shoot yucca seed pods.

Apparently 14 years is the lifespan of an iPod. I had to break down and buy an iPod Touch. When I want music, I want music. I don’t want texts. I don’t want phone calls. I don’t want games. If I’m going to watch a movie, it won’t be on a 4” screen. I blasted off all the apps I have never used on my iPhone and certainly would never use on an iPod. Next, I had to buy new earbuds. The ones I had will only pair on one ear. I bought a set of JBL earbuds. They stay in my ears and both pair with the iPod. 

I’m linking with Nina Marie here: http://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com

My store, Deb Thuman Art is here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com

My Spoonflower shop is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman

Posted in Beads, Depression, Judiasm, Photography

Let The Light Shine

Posted on by debthumanblog

I’ve been working with beads this week. I have more snowflakes. The snowflake frames come in 3.75” and 6”. It’s interesting working with symmetry and finding beads that work well with each other. With necklaces, I use a necklace board that has channels for beads and inch marks to let me know how long the necklace will be. With the snowflake frames, I have to find beads that work well together but still fit on the frame. 

I’m having a hard time photographing the snowflakes. I want a blurred background and the entire snowflake in focus.

This is the setup I used to shoot snowflakes.

Once I get decent photos, I’ll be putting the snowflakes in my store, Deb Thuman Art http://www.DebThumanArt.com

I’ve had some sales of the designs in my Spoonflower shop, https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman It’s exciting to discover people like my designs enough to buy them.

I wanted to test out my new, cataract-free eyes, so I started working with 0/8 seed beads to make a beaded cuff. I haven’t figured out the best strength for reading glasses yet and I’m not able to work well with 0/11 although I’ve been trying. 

This one is made with 11/0 seed beads and it’s not finished.

This one is made with 8/0 beads and it needs a clasp.

Used to be, I’d go into a major depression the third week of November and stay depressed until New Year’s Day. If you had to suffer through holidays with my family, you’d be depressed, too. The screaming. The fighting. The crying. The yelling. For a while, we took off on a vacation over Christmas so we wouldn’t have to spend time with the families. My sister-in-law said we were just running away. Damn straight. 

It’s been a long time since I got depressed in mid-November and stayed depressed. This year, something odd happened. I decided to make Green Stuff. Every Thanksgiving, my mother would make Green Stuff. It was the only enjoyable part of holiday dinners. It took a while to find a recipe. It’s a lime Jell-o salad with whipped cream and crushed pineapple. I wanted to make it on Thanksgiving, but I forgot to tell Jim to buy whipped cream. He went grocery shopping today and discovered three stores are out of heavy cream. He bought a can of Red-I Whip so he could make puppaccinos for Brady. I’ll be using Red-I Whip in place of whipped cream. I think it’s a sign of significant healing that I want to make Green Stuff this year. 

I’m still suffering from malaise. I printed out a Seamwork pattern, taped the pages together to form one big pattern. Now, I have to transfer the pattern to an interfacing that has a grid on it. Or not. Maybe I’ll live dangerously and just cut out the paper pattern. I’ve marked the lines for my size. I want to make this loose, oversized dress so I will have a cover up for when I model nude. Can’t very well walk naked down the hallway to get to the ladies’ room. 

Hanukkah starts tonight. My favorite Hanukkah store comes from an article I wrote many years ago. I wrote an article about Judaic collectibles for AntiqueWeek. I visited a museum in one of the larger temples in Buffalo, NY. Among the fascinating objects was a small menorah. During WWII, a soldier took a tin that had held K-rations and 9 bullet casings. He attached the casings to the inside of the tin to make a menorah. Hanukkah celebrates the triumph of a small band of Jewish soldiers who vanquished Antiochus IV and re-took the temple.  During a time when Hitler was trying to wipe out all the Jews in Europe, a Jewish soldier celebrated Hanukkah. 

I’m linking with Nina Marie here: http://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com

Posted in Fiber, Judiasm, Photography, Quilts, Suicide

Quilts, Shutdown, And Other Joys of Modern Life

Posted on by debthumanblog

I’ve finally put the binding on a quilt made in memory of 11 people who were killed inside a temple in Pittsburgh a couple years ago. The blue in the center is the Hebrew word for life. The 11 Stars of David are for the 11 people killed. The red is blood spatter. I remember reading that when members of the temple went inside the temple, they found blood spatter and brain tissue on the walls. 

I quilted and put binding on the suicide quilt. I’ve only quilted the bottom half of the quilt. We don’t know what happens after we die. People have an assortment of beliefs about what happens, but no one knows for sure. The lack of quilting reflects that unknowing. The line between the hands is how connections between people are forever severed when someone dies. 

New Mexico is shut down for two weeks. The number of new infections each day is out of control. I doubt shutting down for two weeks will make a difference. I think the timing of the shutdown is an attempt to keep people home on Thanksgiving. I suspect the state will remain shut down until the end of the year. 

I’m getting tired of this virus. Tired of not being able to go anywhere. Tired of having my photography restricted to what’s in my yard. While dead yucca seed pods are interesting, there are only so many I can look at before I get bored. 

I’ve been playing with photographs of the only part of my yard that looks like a forest. The rest of the yard looks like a desert. 

Last spring, I found a cholla I hadn’t seen before. It had small, white flowers rather than the large, garish purple flowers on all the other chollas in my yard. Now, it’s got tiny tunas about the size of a marble. The other chollas don’t have tunas. 

I’ve been doing most of my shopping online and it’s taking a long time for things I order to arrive. I think this is a combination of horrible orders given to the postal service in an attempt to stop mail-in ballots and the larger than usual number of packages traveling through the mail. I have an online store, Deb Thuman Art http://www.DebThumanArt.com. I mail out orders Monday through Saturday the day after the orders are placed. If an order is placed on Saturday, it won’t go out until Monday. Please shop early to allow for gifts to arrive in time for Christmas. 

My Spoonflower order has shipped; and when it arrives, I’ll be putting 168 new fabric designs in my Spoonflower store https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman. 

I’m linking with Nina Marie http://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com