Category: Bigotry

Posted in anxiety, Bigotry, Israel, Judiasm

Terrorism

Posted on by debthumanblog

Today is Yom HaShoah, Israeli Holocaust Remembrance Day. The day I remember those who were murdered and those who fought and died so I could have a homeland. I honored the day by confronting terrorists.

There was an encampment at the university. This was billed as free speech. The First Amendment is not now and never was absolute. You can’t yet fire in a crowded theater. But you can call for the genocide of Jews and the obliteration of Israel, my homeland. That’s perfectly acceptable.

I went to take photos to send to the FBI. Depending on how much walking I need to do, and I needed to do a lot, I have to use a walker. The terrorists called the police. And that’s the extent of the details I can talk about because of the possibility of criminal charges. I had hoped the officer would accept my passport as my ID. My passport has my post office box address rather than my home address. Unfortunately, he asked for my license which has my home address. Never have I been so glad to be living next door to the sheriff. I’ve sent her an email explaining the situation and saying there might be a problem if the terrorists get my home address. That’s not supposed to happen, but life doesn’t always go according to the script. I’ve told Jim to call 911 immediately if he sees anyone he doesn’t recognize around the house. I’ve got security cameras on the front, back and side of the house.

When my great-great-grandparents along with my 10-month-old great-grandmother left Europe, they came disguised as German Lutherans. They were Polish Jews. My grandmother, who thought she was a German Lutheran, was taught never to do anything that would make people think she was Jewish. I was always horrified by that.

Today, to my shame, I hid. I wore nothing, said nothing, and did nothing to make the terrorists think I’m Jewish. Because I hid, I’m home scared rather than in the hospital wondering what my insurance will cover.

Am Yisrael Chai! The people of Israel live.

Posted in anxiety, Bigotry, Emotions, Israel, Judiasm

Terrorists Don’t Start With A Bomb

Posted on by debthumanblog

Hate crimes don’t always include violence, hateful graffiti, or a fire bomb although all of those things constitute a hate crime. Terrorists don’t start with a bomb although they frequently end with a bomb.

I am on the receiving end of a hate crime committed by a woman I strongly suspect is a terrorist. She told me to stop talking when I was speaking about hamas kidnapping an elderly Holocaust victim. Then, she lied, slandered me and attacked my reputation by claiming I said Palestinians are disgusting. I never used the word Palestinian and I never used the word disgusting. My fight isn’t with Palestinians, it’s with hamas – a group the US deemed a terrorist organization in 1997. Palestinians didn’t murder, kidnap, burn alive and decapitate Israelis on October 7, 2023. Hamas did all that. The people of Gaza voted hamas to govern them in 2006. There hasn’t been an election since. I suspect the majority of Palestinians wish hamas had never been voted in.

Although the people at the Office of Institutional Equity – the office New Mexico State University has designated as the proper office to report discrimination – said they didn’t believe the woman’s claims, her slander of me is protected speech. I’ve been an attorney for nearly 30 years. I was a cooperating attorney for the New York Civil Liberties Union for five years. I know slander is definitely not protected speech. Unless it’s anti-Semitism and it happens at NMSU.

Since October 7, 2023, there have been two pro-hamas rallies on campus. I doubt even half the students who participated realized they were supporting hamas. They thought they were supporting Palestinians when they called for the obliteration of Israel. The second rally is strong evidence that hamas is behind these rallies. The rally was held on November 9, 2023. November 9 is the anniversary of kristalnacht when the nazis went on a terror rampage, burned synagogs, destroyed businesses owned by Jews, and wantonly killed Jews. The only reason to schedule that rally on that date was to terrorize Jews.

I suspect the hate criminal is a terrorist. She’s most certainly a hamas sympathizer. If you see something, say something. Great advice. Try finding someone to say something to. I went in search of the FBI office is Las Cruces. I couldn’t find one on google. I walked into the federal court house in Las Cruces, walked up to a federal Marshall, and said: I need to talk to someone about a suspected terrorist. Result? I was sent on a wild goose chase in search of an office that didn’t exist. What should have happened was to have me sit down and then search for someone I could talk to. Has terrorism become so normalized that we no longer respond to threats?

Eventually, I discovered the only FBI office in NM was in Albuquerque – 230 miles north of Las Cruces. I called what was supposed to be the number for the Albuquerque office. After a half hour on hold, I finally got to talk to someone. I was puzzled when the person asked me to spell Las Cruces. That’s when I discovered the Albuquerque office phone number is not answered in Albuquerque but answered in Washington DC.

Arlo Guthrie did a piece about dedicating a song to the FBI. The story line has advice for The Last Guy – no one has it worse than that guy. All he has to do to have some excitement in his life is to bum a dime and call the FBI. “FBI? Yes. I dig Uncle Ho and Chairman Mao and all their friends are coming for dinner. Hang up the phone.” Arlo was wrong; I had it worse than the Last Guy. I couldn’t call the FBI because the FBI doesn’t want to be called.

I’m afraid when I’m on campus. How afraid? I’ve argued before the NM Supreme Court three times – the last time was to save an old man’s life, I’ve worked on death penalty cases, I’ve done more than 120 trials, I’ve got more guts than brains. I’m afraid when I’m on campus. I am armed at all times when I’m on campus and I keep my weapons on my person and not in my backpack. A weapon I can’t reach when I’ve only a few seconds to respond is useless. I have the number for the campus police programmed into my phone. I have a way to call 911 in an emergency by pressing two buttons on my cellphone. I keep my cellphone in my pocket. I have a way to call 911 in an emergency using my Apple Watch. I always wear my Apple Watch.

I had planned on taking another painting class and an astronomy class next semester. Now, I don’t know if it will be safe for me to do that.

This is the schematic for a painting I’m doing.

I’m afraid to work on it during class time because I’m afraid of what the hate criminal will do to my painting or to me. I’m Jewish. I have no protection. I have no freedom of speech even when I’m quoting what legitimate news sources around the world are reporting.

I only have one thing to say. Fuck hamas.

Posted in Bigotry, Emotions, Israel, Judiasm

Fighting Back

Posted on by debthumanblog

This post contains a word some people find offensive. There is no other word that expresses what I feel, so the word stays.

I’m working on a post modern painting for my painting class. I’ve figured out what images I want and I’ve done a preliminary layout. I need to look at the arrangement tomorrow to see if I’ve got what I want or if I need to tweak the layout.

The impetus for this painting is my experiences since October 7, 2023. Today, I got an email from the VP of Equity, Diversion and Inclusivity telling me how open and welcoming the NMSU campus is and how we have this wonderful diversion and inclusivity. Here is my response:

What university are you talking about? NMSU doesn’t have inclusivity or diversity. I’m Jewish. Since October 10, 2023, I’ve been on the receiving end of anti-Semitism and a hate crime. I’ve reported this to the Anti-Defamation League and other groups that support Jews on campus and fight anti-Semitism.  I reported this to the Office of Institutional Equity. 

The university’s response was to tell me to get counseling. 

I have to be armed at all times when I’m on campus and I keep my weapons on my person. 

I had to make a safety plan in order to attend my painting class. 

I’m alone. I’m scared. I’m not going away. 

I’m not going to stay quiet while you and others in administration lie to the community about this being a university committed to diversity and inclusion. 

Deborah Lee Thuman

Attorney at Law

Am Yisrael Chai

The People of Israel Live

Let the shitstorm begin!

Here’s the preliminary layout and closeups of the images.

The transliteration of the Hebrew is: Am Yisrael Chai. The translation is: The People of Israel Live.

This is a schematic of a eucalyptus leaf. In the early part of the 20th century, Zionists collected money and bought land in Israel. The land was useless swamp. They planted eucalyptus trees to suck up the water thereby draining the swamp and leaving land good for growing crops.

I can’t decide which is worse; kidnapping an infant or decapitating a small child. I need to correct the spelling error.

This one may be a dangerous thing to say, but I’m going to say it anyway.

Remember the poster from the 60’s – You have not converted a man simply because you have silenced him. This woman will not be silenced.

This is the insignia of IDF Special Forces.

Iron Dome destroying hamas rockets.

I wish I were making that up, but I’m not. I kept the email.

I’m aware there are people who find the first word offensive. I find hamas offensive. There was a pro-hamas rally on campus. It was billed as pro-palestinian, but it was really pro-hamas.

A safety plan to attend a painting class. I never thought I’d have to do such a thing.

This is the preliminary layout.

My online store: Deb Thuman Art is here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com

Posted in anxiety, Bigotry, Brady, Depression, Fiber, Israel, Judiasm, Quilts

Alone In A Sea of Hate

Posted on by debthumanblog

Every time I think I’m over reacting, I realize what happened is worse than I thought. First, I thought the person’s reaction was odd. Then, I realized it was anti-semitism. Then, I discovered the person slandered me. Then I discovered the university views slander as protected speech. It’s not; but I know the attorney who made that decision and I’m not surprised by such a glaring misstatement of law.

22K+ students at NMSU, and I’m the lone Jew. Hillel has no presence on campus. Chabad has no presence on campus. In 44 semesters of continuing education, only twice was there another Jew in my class.

I’m alone.

I’m armed at all times when I’m on campus. I carry pepper gel and a stun gun. I have a safety plan in place. I have the campus police telephone number programmed into my phone.

According to the president of the university, if I’m upset by what’s happening in Israel, I should go to counseling. According to the Office of Institutional Equity, if I’m upset by the hate crime hurled at me, I should go to counseling.

This past Tuesday, I went to the campus police to report that what I thought was odd, rose to the level of a hate crime pursuant to New Mexico law. Knowing I couldn’t manage without Brady, my service dog in training, I took her with me. I had to hug her twice just to get through the day.

After taking to the police, I was so upset about being on the receiving end of a hate crime, I couldn’t eat and could not enjoy the drink I ordered at Starbucks. Brady and I explored the library. Here she is looking at books and searching for the book with the recipes for dog treats.

I had arranged to meet with my painting teacher outside of the painting studio. It was a good plan. Except I had to go into the painting studio to fetch my paintings and the hate criminal was in the painting studio.

The next morning, I woke up and decided the hate criminal had taken all she was going to take away from me and I was taking back my life. The hate criminal isn’t done with me yet. Apparently, she has the mental capacity of a 12-year-old and is doing petty, childish things just to piss me off. I’m doing my best to ignore her. She’s not going away, but neither am I.

My art has changed.

It’s not finished and the painting is on an easel so there’s only so much I can do to eliminate the background.

Also not finished and also still on the easel. Suddenly, I’m painting about being alone, I’m facing evil, and no one is going to help me. I’m trying not to hate Muslims. I’m trying to remember that Muslims are not terrorists and terrorists are not Muslims. Terrorists worship hatred and murder. News organizations have gotten recordings of terrorists’ cell phone calls bragging about murdering Jews on October 7, 2023.

According to the Anti-Defamation League, “Since the October 7th terrorist massacre by Hamas in Israel, we’ve seen a nearly 400 percent increase in antisemitic incidents across the United States.”

The fact that the crap that has happened to me is happening to Jewish students on college campuses across the country doesn’t make me feel better. There’s a new rallying cry at Columbia law school: Fuck Jews.

I’m alone.

I’m scared.

I have only myself to rely on to protect me.

The last time I had this much anxiety, I was studying for the NY bar exam.

Posted in Bigotry, Depression, Emotions, words

Define Attractive

Posted on by debthumanblog

I’m 70. I’m no longer 22. Acne notwithstanding, I don’t look like I’m 22. Since then, I’ve put myself through college. I’ve put myself through law school. I’ve had a lifetime full of experiences. I’m not the person I was at 22 and don’t want to be that person.

So what’s the problem? The problem is what I think people expect. I watch TV and see anorexic women. I have to tell myself these women have eating disorders. They aren’t at a healthy weight. What they are doing to their bodies is going to catch up to them.

I watch TV and see women who have obvious facelifts that they deny having. Their faces will again fall. I see women who have had way too many facelifts and they look terrible. I see women who have obvious breast implants and lifts. I see Jamie Lee Curtis wearing a low cut dress, and her breasts jiggle just like mine. I see her gray hair and wonder why I am not that confident.

I was 25 when I started college and 30 when I graduated with degrees in biology and journalism. I started law school on my 38th birthday. I appeared before the US Supreme Court when I was 44. I moved 2000 miles across the country while Jim stayed behind to sell the house when I was 47. I argued the first of three times before the NM Supreme Court when I was 50. When I was 54, I began a nine-year fight to keep a job I loved. I retired when I was 63.

It took me a lifetime to achieve what I’ve achieved. Now, I look at my face in the mirror, and new lines form each day. I have lines across my forehead. I have weird lines going from my nose to my chin. I’ve considered botox, but I think I’d be even more upset when the lines come back – and they will come back – than I am now that they are arriving.

I’ve watched myself go through life changes. I was 38 when I realized my life is mine and no one else should run my life. When I was 39, I realized I could learn anything I wanted and my life was incredible. When I was 50, I went a little crazy and got my bellybutton pierced. When I was 60, I spent the next few years realizing my life is finite and worrying I wouldn’t get everything done that I wanted to get done before I died. I was 60 when a client told me I’m a kind woman. I had never thought of myself as kind. When I was 61, someone who is much younger than me found me sexually attractive. I turned 70 and suddenly, I can do anything, learn anything, achieve anything. It’s like how I felt when I was 40. A few weeks ago, I realized I’m almost finished writing the novel I started writing 8 years ago. I also realized that if the entire story can be told in 44,000 words, I would be foolish to try to turn a fast paced interesting story into an 80,000 word boring story.

It has taken me a long time for my hair to go gray. It’s still not gray, but there are more gray hairs than there used to be. Once, when I was about 53 and after dying my hair flaming red, someone told me that color was much better than the color I had before. The color I had before was my natural color. I decided if people wanted to think I dyed my hair, I’d dye my hair a color that doesn’t exist in nature. I’ve been a woman with flaming red hair ever since. Now, I dye my hair because I’m upset at the few but ever increasing number of gray hairs I see.

My face reflects my life. It has been a good life and I achieved more than I ever imagined I could achieve when I was 22. So why am I so upset about the lines on my face? Why do I think I’m no longer attractive just because I’m developing lines on my forehead?

What does it mean to be attractive? Is carrying my life on my face attractive? Interesting maybe, but I don’t know if I’m attractive.

Why the hell do I think lines on my face, gray hairs, and not being anorexic matter?

There’s a quilt in here somewhere and fuzzy ideas are forming in my brain.

Posted in anxiety, Bigotry, bipolar disorder, Depression, Fiber, Photography, Quilts

Art Heals

Posted on by debthumanblog

I’ve been working on fabric designs this week. After watching a traumatic presentation about trauma, I had to write out my feelings. You can read the post here: https://debthumanblog.wordpress.com/2021/06/25/i-am-not-broken/

There’s a quilt in there somewhere. Maybe my latest designs will help me find it.

This design might be good for a mental health quilt. The fractured triangles mirror how I feel at times.

I love positive and negative prints and to combine both in one garment.

This is what happens when I start playing around with a photo of a sunset.

Road map to getting lost in thought.

Splat.

These are all from a sunset photo. There is no end to the kinds of designs that can be made while editing.

My store, Deb Thuman Art is here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com

My Spoonflower shop is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman

I’m linking with Nina Marie here: http://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com