I thought I had gotten past the fear, anxiety, stress and depression. I was wrong. Tomorrow, I have my first painting class of the semester. It is likely the hate criminal will be in my class. Today, I’m depressed, pissed off, scared, anxious. I’m still going to class. If I am not for myself, who will be?
I’ve complained to the Office of Institutional Equity about the hate crime. I was told to get counseling and was threatened to be fired from a job I don’t have. I’ve filed a report with the campus police and was told to put the campus police telephone number into my cell phone contacts. An adjunct professor who was paid $3000 per class per semester and with no benefits had the guts to stand up for me and tell the truth. The university has refused to rehire her – despite the art department being underfunded and understaffed – and replaced with a grad student who earns more and receives health insurance benefits. The university will never admit what they did and protestations about her being unemployed having nothing to do with her telling the truth are not credible.
A friend suggested I take this semester off. I can’t. If I don’t stand up to this hatred, discrimination, and apathy, nothing will change. I never intended to lead this parade, but no one else is leading, so it’s up to me. Hillel asked, if I am not for myself, who will be? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?
I have a series of self portraits and one major piece to work on this semester. All have Jewish themes and are in direct response to the war in Israel and efforts to silence me. I will continue to make Jewish-themed art. I will continue to inform the FBI Counter Terrorism Division of pro-hamas activities on campus. I will continue to fight back against anti-Semitism. I refuse to be silenced. I’ve never run from a fight in my life, and I’m not about to run from this fight.
Never again is now. Am Yisrael Chai – the people of Israel live.
Deb's Art 