May 4, 1970

Find the cost of freedom buried in the ground.

1970 was the year I graduated from high school. I had a clock radio and always woke up to the news. When my clock radio woke me on May 5, I heard about Kent State for the first time. I felt cold terror in my bowels and nausea in my stomach. I went to school dazed and sad.

A friend of mine was a student at SUNY Buffalo on May 4, 1970. The Buffalo police locked the building he was in, and fired tear gas canisters into the building. In retaliation for the student protests, when the Amherst Campus – second site of SUNY Buffalo – was designed to accommodate the Tactical Police Unit. Forerunner of SWAT. To get from the parking lot to the law school, you go up a hill, down a hill and up another hill. There are windowed walkways between buildings. The glass is so the police can fire tear gas canisters and fill the walkway with gas. Because the walkway is narrow, it would be difficult for students to get out of the walkway in a panic. There’s a little snack bar in the law school. There are little tables designed to hold no more than 3 students. The theory is that cuts down on planning a demonstration of any size.

Ten years after Kent State, I was in college. In early May, Buffalo State College where I was enrolled had Commuter Daze taking place around May 4-5. It’s a kind of blow out party just before exams. There were hotdogs, raw clams, and soft drinks for free. I was halfway through my hotdog when two fellows next to me had a conversation. One asked the other what that sign meant. He pointed to a bed sheet hung from the second floor of the student union. The sheet read: My God, my God, they are killing us. May 4, 1970.

The other answered the one’s question. “Some kids died.”

I felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach.

Buried in the ground.

Every year, I remember the national guard firing on unarmed students who were more than 200 feet from the national guard. The excuse was the students were throwing stones at them. Show me a kid who can throw a ball accurately 200 feet, and I’ll show you a happy MLB scout

Mother Earth will swallow you, lay your body down. Neil Young

Every year, I listen to Find The Cost of Freedom and Ohio. I think about the 4 dead students and the 9 wounded students. I think about the families of the dead students and how they live with a hole that won’t ever be filled. I think about how someone gave the National Guardsmen to fire their M-1 rifles. Some fired into the ground or air. Some, fired into the crowd. Estimates of the size of the crowd are 2000-3000 unarmed students. The students were retreating when the Guardsmen fired at them.

I read somewhere that when he heard about Kent State, Neil Young went off into the woods for a couple days, and wrote these songs.

Tin soldiers and Nixon coming, we’re finally on our own. This summer I hear the drumming. Four dead in Ohio. Got to get down to it, soldiers are cutting us down. Should have been done long ago. What if you knew her and saw her dead on the ground. How can you run when you know?