Month: January 2021

Posted in Fiber, Quilts, Suicide

Return to Sanity

Posted on by debthumanblog

I watched the inauguration on Wednesday. It was cold, and the women (and some men) wore coats that had the first button around waist level. That’s not a winter coat and it won’t keep anyone warm. Surely there’s a designer out there who can create a warm winter coat that’s also stylish. Bernie Sanders may have had the best idea, and the best mittens. He needed a hat, though.

There are two things Lady Gaga can do very well. She can make an entrance and can make an unsingable Star Spangled Banner sound beautiful. I loved her dress and the dove. Only Lady Gaga could hold her skirt up while walking down stairs, and still look fantastic.

J Lo, if you’re going to sing This Land is Your Land, sing all the verses. Especially the final verse:

Nobody living can ever stop me, 
As I go walking that freedom highway; 
Nobody living can ever make me turn back 
This land was made for you and me. 

Woody didn’t write songs to be pretty. He wrote songs to make a point which J Lo clearly missed.

Monday is the yahrzeit of the deputy who killed himself. This year is easier than last year, but it’s still a sad, confusing, emotional time for me. I’ve quilted about his suicide. I’ve written about his suicide. It still tears me apart.

This is the second quilt I made about his suicide. Only the bottom half is quilted. We know what happens when we are alive. We may have beliefs about what happens after we die, but we don’t know what happens.

I’ve been working on two other quilts.

I had a manipulated photo printed by Spoonflower. I’m quilting via machine around the circles, and that’s when I discovered the cataracts have gotten bad enough that I’m limited on what close work I can do. I can’t have cataract surgery because there’s a 25% chance of the retina in my right eye detaching. A souvenir from growing up in a house run by a violent, narcissistic drunk and her violent drunken husband. Once it’s safe to travel again, I’m going to have to start looking for someone who can do high risk cataract surgery.

This is a manipulated photo of a sandhill crane at Bosque del Apache. I had it printed by Spoonflower. I haven’t started to quilt it yet.

Looking for the perfect Valentine’s Day gift? Please visit my store, Deb Thuman Art here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com

Looking for wild fabric designs? My Spoonflower shop is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman

I’m linking with Nina Marie here: http://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com

Posted in Beads, Fiber, Jewelry, Quilts

Fighting The Strange Fight

Posted on by debthumanblog

I am fighting with quilt batting. Normally, I work with fat-quarter size quilts. This quilt is 30”x45” not huge, but bigger than I’m used to. Because I’m tired of fighting quilt sandwiches, I  bought fusible batting. The batting is large enough for a quilt for a queen-size bed. I had to unroll the batting, unfold  the batting, and try to cut out a piece the proper size. I tried working on the floor, but that didn’t work. I tried folding the batting so I could cut on the folded edges, but that didn’t work. For so long, I worked on dark, emotional quilts. Now, I have a chance to work on a happy quilt. This one is from one of my manipulated photos that I had printed. I need to make some happy art, and this batting is keeping me from doing that. 

I took some photos of jewelry I’ve made so I can put my latest jewelry in my store. Valentine’s Day is coming up and the mail service is still slow in some places. Order now to be sure your jewelry will arrive before Valentine’s Day. 

All of these are made from semi-precious gems.

Just listed in my store, Deb Thuman Art, http://wwwDebThumanArt.com

My Spoonflower shop is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman

Posted in Uncategorized

To the Republicans Who Want Me To Believe They Have Morals:

Posted on by debthumanblog

Precisely how stupid do you think I am? 

When the narcissistic sociopath mocked a reporter who has a disability, you said nothing. 

When the narcissistic sociopath ripped children from parents’ arms, you said nothing. 

When the narcissistic sociopath locked terrified children in cages and forced them to sleep on a concrete floor, you said nothing. 

When the narcissistic sociopath bragged about being a sex offender, you said nothing. 

When the narcissistic sociopath told lie after lie after lie, you said nothing. 

When the narcissistic sociopath told people covid was fake news, you said nothing. 

When the narcissistic sociopath told people to stop getting tested so the spread of covid would be slowed, you said nothing. 

When the narcissistic sociopath told people to drink bleach and hand sanitizer, you said nothing. 

When the narcissistic sociopath played golf while more than 300,000 people died, you said nothing. 

When the United States has approximately 25% of the covid cases in the world, you said nothing. 

When the narcissistic sociopath appointed a woman who insisted on making rape on college campuses harder to prosecute as secretary of education, you said nothing. 

When the press secretary for the narcissistic sociopath stood in front of a room full of reporters and denied the Holocaust, you said nothing. 

When the narcissistic sociopath proceeded to dismantle the Environmental Protection Agency, you said nothing. 

Now you want me to believe you are outraged by the narcissistic sociopath inciting a riot? Your outrage comes only after you were confronted by a deranged, crazed, armed mob storming the Capitol Building. The building in which you work. When your personal safety was in jeopardy. 

I’m not stupid enough to believe you. 

You are covered with the same stink that has covered the narcissistic sociopath for the last four years. 

Posted in anxiety, bipolar disorder, Depression, Emotions, Fiber, Psych meds, Quilts

Muted Colors

Posted on by debthumanblog

This week wasn’t easy for anyone watching news out of Washington DC. It’s less easy for someone with bipolar disorder. 

On Tuesday, I was severely depressed. I know why, but it’s not something I’m comfortable writing about. I took an extra antidepressant. My doctor knows I do this when the depression gets severe and I get close to being suicidal. 

On Wednesday, I made the mistake of watching some of the news about a mob storming the Capitol Building. Seeing the horror triggered severe mania and severe anxiety. Working on a quilt helped a bit. I considered taking an extra mood stabilizer but wasn’t sure if that would help. 

On Thursday, I was severely depressed after being rejected by a someone who breeds labradoodles. The breeder refuses to sell a puppy to someone who has never had a puppy. That’s like saying you can’t eat green beans because you’ve never eaten green beans. The plan was, work with a trainer on puppy training – don’t pee on the rug, don’t eat the furniture, the cats aren’t chew toys, how to walk on a leash – and when the dog is 18-24 months old, work with the trainer to train the dog to be a psychiatric service dog for me. I have adult cats and they’re not going to accept an adult dog. I think it would be far easier for them to accept a puppy – especially after learning the puppy won’t eat cat food. 

Today, I feel….kind of neutral. I don’t feel at center, but I also don’t feel manic or depressed. More like feeling subdued or like being a muted color. I don’t feel energy flows although I know energy flows exist. I see energy flows as colors. Today, muted colors. 

Rapid cycling is defined as four or more episodes within a year. I had three major episodes in three days. Maybe my energy is a muted color because I’ve had the emotional equivalent of running a three-day marathon.

I’m at another stopping point with the isolation quilt. I figured out I wanted to do wavy lines that echoed one another. Now, I’m left with bits of unquilted space. I was going to do meandering free motion quilting, but I forgot how to attach that foot to my machine. When frustration, mania, and anxiety reach terminal velocity, it’s time for me to take a break and do something else. I’m considering leaving the empty spaces empty. 

I’m linking with Nina Marie here: http://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com

My store, Deb Thuman Art is here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com

My Spoonflower shop is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman

Posted in Beads, Fiber, Jewelry, Pain, Peripheral neuropathy, Photography

Happy First Day of 2021

Posted on by debthumanblog

I will not miss 2020. I’ve spent more than nine months staying home, not eating in restaurants, only getting my hair cut twice. I’m encouraged to get tested for covid to bring down the positivity rate. The positivity rate is how many positive results in relation to how many tests were performed. Once the positivity rate goes down, there will be fewer restrictions in my county. It’s artificial. The positivity rate means nothing. How many new cases there are each day is what matters. How many of the people in this county have covid. According to the stats, 1 in 13 people in my county have had covid since March. I refuse to participate in this silliness. Lowering the positivity rate won’t remove the refrigerator trucks parked outside the hospitals. Lowering the positivity rate won’t open up more ICU beds – and in my county there are only three open ICU beds. Lowering the positivity rate means nothing when there’s a more infectious mutation floating amok. 

Jim’s 70th birthday was this past Tuesday. I had wanted to take him to Red Lobster for lunch. I’m allergic to seafood and there’s exactly one thing on the menu I can eat, but Jim loves seafood. We decided against that idea because the numbers of new cases of covid each day is scary. Next, we decided to take advantage of Happy Hour at IHOP. We discovered why there were almost no cars in the parking lot when we saw the sign on the door saying the dining room was closed. There is no indoor dining in any restaurant for the duration. Applebee’s has outdoor dining in a tent, but the tent has sides and it’s effectively an enclosed space. We gave up and went to Starbucks where I got a crème brulee latte, some stars, and a chance to play the current Starbucks game. 

I’ve been having a neuropathy flare-up and when the marijuana, CBD oil, and gabapentin don’t kill the pain, the only reliable way to kill the pain is to make art. I’ve been making necklaces using quite a few of the latest shipment of glass beads. They are all in my store here: http://www.DebThumanArt.com

I’ve switched from shooting in RAW to shooting in JPEG. I wasn’t sure I could adequately edit photos using JPEG which has less information in each shot than RAW. I was surprised that I couldn’t see the difference in the jewelry shots. They’re all shot in JPEG and required minimal tweaking in editing. RAW files are huge and switching to JPEG frees up more computer space. 

I’ve kind of figured out how I want to finish quilting the isolation quilt.  I just need to put away all the beads and reclaim my sewing space. 

One night, while wandering around in pain, I saw an orange moon. I don’t trust myself with a heavy, 150-600mm lens and a tripod after I’ve been eating marijuana. Pot makes me walk into walls. Using the 18-400mm lens, I went outside and got an almost decent shot. 

I’m linking with Nina Marie here: http://ninamariesayre.blogspot.com

My Spoonflower shop with all my latest fabric designs is here: https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/deb_thuman